Sindys SECRetssssssss.... OoOOoOoOoOoOo

boop

2009-08-05T10:32:00.003+01:00

beep

2009-04-01T17:41:00.002+01:00

The Friends

2007-12-21T16:43:00.000Z

THE FRIENDS can connect in a mysterious way without even speaking.

Perhaps they have AMAZING MAGICAL POWERS.

Perhaps they are both just PECULIAR IN THE HEAD.

http://www.edwardmonkton.com

A little bit of magic

2006-10-24T13:56:00.000+01:00

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo

If I were ever to compile a list of things that make Britannia less complete than it could be, a Disney Park would figure fairly prominently. What little experience I had was back when I was four, and such fleeting memories provide little of substance to truly dwell on in the dark hours that come. What Britannia does manage to get is the whole Disney on Ice extravaganza. It's probably not as nostalgic as it is jaw-droppingly wonderful though.

The desparate bid to obtain tickets after Ticketmaster insisted they were sold out weeks in advance made for quite an exciting runup to eid. Actually obtaining seats as fantastic as the ones we sat in was quite miraculous to say the least. But 3:45 on Monday it was, and finally that leave I had applied for paid off.

The moment we got there made it seem like the entrance to Disney Land anyway. What with the multitude of people selling colourful pink and purple balloons, frilly hats and winding light-up toys, it was a shame none of it was entireuly suitable anymore. A sea of children rushed around dressed in their frilly costumes and bubbling with excitement. And there was the massive Wembley Arch thing, rising over a fun little fountain complete with alternating mood lights. But that's really only the outside.

So we went through more fun stalls, and sat down. The lights went out. Little flicker lights people had bought otuside suddenly filled the massive hall in a variety of colours. And then in came Mickey and Minnie XD Followed by dazzling shows with the most brilliant skate-choreography for pieces from Aladdin, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Mulan and Snow White (for who everyone went wild. Fabulous really!). And the intermission was followed by a brilliant remake of major portions from Cinderella. Joy joy joy. I'd write more but that would kill it. Though Mulan was cut insanely short, and Gaston was a bit psychotic, everything else was perfect. And while the video trailer and pictures can't even begin to capture any of it (so I'm glad I didn't take a camera!), I can at least point that out.

http://www.disney.co.uk/disneyonice/princessclassics/

Yes, well the name's only due to the focus. And it was so pink! Can't wait to go again next year...

In other news, I can now officially have lunch again. Though I'm still so used to that, haven't even bothered to have any water yet. And there's only under 3.5 hours to go. Much wishings of goodness and all, etc etc etc.

Party on dudes.

17th October 2006

2006-10-19T16:21:00.002+01:00

They say that this day was absolutely irrelevant in the grander scheme of things. Which is why they picked it of course. For its remarkable degree of banality. When making a virtual time-capsule and hoping that this one actually lasts all the way through time, it's best to see just how ordinary life could be. A Tuesday no less! Worst day of the week really, what with all that weekend energy having dissipated, and far too much of the new week still left to go. Otherwise, really just another day. Though "just another day" is in itself such a useless evaluation. Seems like such a waste wouldn't you say?
And as I get forever lost in my own conflicting (polite for hypocritical) philosophies, I should just like to point out that the only real significance of this day is that it is being uploaded on historymatters.org.uk (or some such site) for publication in a mass collection of blogs. While I'd like to think I still have a shot at making my mark in history, might as well avail of this opportunity as it presents itself, and deal with others as they come. Just a 100-600 words though. So need to get all my babbling out somewhere before I begin. And now I'm overcome with this desire to see a brook running over glossy pebbles. Phaw!

Of books
Am working on finishing Nick Hornby's "A long way down". I can't really tell whether it's a fantastic achievement for a book to make me laugh, seeing as the vast majority of what I read is not striving to be on the funny side. But suppressing involuntary giggles in a packed London tube is an exhilarating feeling. Recommended for that alone if nothing else.

Of food
When you're not due to eat a bite till near half-six in the evening, it's possible to desire something mouth watering. Forgotten Marks&Spencer Mint Truffles have a habit of melting into a thick slushy thing. Slurping it is surprisingly thrilling, and the taste is quite a treat too. I can't imagine it looks much civilised though. (Fascinating! I wrote “very civilised” but the omnipotent MS Word believes it should be “much civilised”. It figures I would type it here though; it helps make the standard of my own spellings somewhat ambiguous. But I digress.) Melted chocolate has a way of refusing to go where you want it to.

Of holidays
One, thinking in such deep ways that are available only to the metaphorical "one", may believe it is the easiest thing in the world to ask for a holiday given that this one sits right opposite the granter of such wishes. Unfortunately, there's always that stigma of being denied. And those extra people clicking away around you always savour every last drop of human conversation. So I didn't ask, again. I should have asked two weeks ago but I didn't want it then. I wonder if it's too late to ask tomorrow...

When I evaluated this idea initially, I thought 600 words would be too few to capture an entire day. That’s probably still true. The only thing that’s changed is the realisation that spending two hours packed on trains, several mindlessly surfing the net, and another several doing work that should be confidential even if it isn’t doesn’t leave a lot to tell. Well, there were the tortillas when I got home, to make up for my Truffley friend, but that would just make any reader envious. And why would I want that?

Time shall continue to sweep us along its path, until it ceases to wind and either circles or ends. And the weather shall always confuse and surprise. Things like that. They’ll go on. Others will be lost. Ripples in the ocean, sand in the desert, heat in the arctic. Embracing change is a glorious thing, but there needs to be something so constant that we may measure it against.

Phaw! To ramble is to shatter such an illusion.

...

I think I could end there, and maybe start from of books. It says so much about me really. If nothing else, and both Blogspot and LJ collapse, I could always presumably nudge someone towards the British Library to dig this up. If that's still there of course. Such an assumption! Deary me...

Oh and of course, if I still remember I submitted this as Rayinzar Stormcloud. Because my name, my real name, that's for so many other things. Can't get it mired in the depths of history so early!

My hands are cold and numb. I'd blame the weather, but I won't. I will blame the air conditioning. Blow that in a desert why don't you. Rant *grin*

My Mondays enroach upon my Sundays

2006-10-02T17:28:00.000+01:00

"My peers, lately, have found companionship through means of intoxication; it makes them sociable. I, however, cannot force myself to use drugs to cheat on my loneliness -- it is all that I have -- and when the drugs and alcohol dissipate, will be all that my peers have as well."
-Kafka

http://community.livejournal.com/wurds
Swimming in imagined wisdom remains as deliriously delightful as ever. How most quotes can be twisted to be relevant and reflected upon is not a thought that bears much consideration.

A pitiful place to be, between a rock and a hard place. As it is, such is the position of my poor desk. The slimmest skimmings of the net must soon enough be traded in for some pretence, often made all too real by the demanding trappings of the workplace.

There was this captivating thought process about the relation of absistence, temptation and cowardice. It is woeful is it not, that such wonders as are thought of can not be expressed at the moment of their birth. Now it is just another thing I hope to someday write of, that someday that never comes.

But enough of this depressing wizzle-wozzle. There is more to life, is there not. The dust that flies through our fingers is as representative of our presence as the ... as the tree that spends an eternity rooted still? Or some such...

In a wonderful recapture of nostalgia for myself and my generation, the weekend tv shows consisted of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II & Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Most excellent. Then there's been the usual. Sleeping, gaming, chilling... It all makes for fascinating reading really.

So like this weekend was sooo totally cool. My grandparents managed to lock their keys into the flat, which is the flat right next to the other flat. So anyway, since the doors auto-lock the only way back in was from the balcony. A simple swing and over... erm, around we go? Not in the middle of the day with everyone standing on their balconies! How could anything possibly look more suspicious anyway? Besides, there was a dinner to get to.
Fast forward to 11pm, and back we are. Nothing like a bit of rain to make a sealed off 6th floor balcony barrier hop more exciting! On the deck table goes the step ladder. Much too short really, so I clamber up onto that top holding thing of the step ladder before remembering I'm not really as athletic as my rpg character. Too late for hindsight now. One doesn't back down after bravely offering such services...
Glass by the way, is an awfully sharp thing to grab a hold of. Probably the only thing worse than clinging from glass is saddling it. For the sake of variety, I tried both. Of course, the moment when I gripped on and tried to swing my leg over, and suddenly found I was unable to reclaim any support was in equal parts terrifying and head-spinning-adrenaline-producing-uber-giddy-fun. Ok, perhaps more of the latter. My drop onto the other side, while perhaps not entirely graceful (my right side is a wee bit bruised, still) was at least managed without going over the side. Or smacking the chair so far below for support. Rah rah rah! I'm like totally up for bungee jumping now!
Right so then I went back in the flat, retrieved the keys, opened the door, etc etc etc. For an idea of the balcony (though the partition isn't available here :p) see>>>
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7113/599/1600/DSC00862.jpg
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7113/599/1600/DSC00865.jpg

And now here I am, 15 mins away from 6. When I shall hopefully skeedaddle. Fingers crossed and all that jazz. So much to do, so little time. Not work wise, just generally. But oh hey, I'm still alive, just saying hi in this most absorbing form of communication. Wave, grin and friends. And deeper thinking for some other day.

Transparent as a Prism

2006-07-26T16:53:00.000+01:00

It's ten minutes to five on a day that has been excruciatingly tiring only through its lack of constructive provisions. Scouring news sites, blogs and forums, building fictional gaming machines I wouldn't dare pay for, and now observing the simplicity Blogspot is reduced to by that lesser browser known as Opera. Can't say I don't enjoy the click and drag navigation though.

Small things happen, little things yet grand. Wrestling with my Media Player at work did not reveal in the struggle what taking one small chance did. And now I find myself blissfully immersed in tunes from Broadway with their glamour and glitz, and magical ability to entrap the soul and transport it to a world of stages and spectacular performances.

I sit at my desk freezing while outside the window, past the bug quashed against it, the sun continues its brutal assault on a city ill-prepared for such actions.

There's this desparate need to throw myself into something that shall test me emotionally, and open me to something new now, as I feel so content with everything that to ask for more would be a greed most distasteful. So instead of wanting more (which is always pleasant), there is a desire for something new. Filled with such passion as would remain with me past those brief moments in the night where the sparks fly so far away from any surface inflammable.

In the pursuit of rebuilding feelings from the past, the long sought after Beauty and the Beast finally made an appearance in my life. Perhaps it was the time of the experience, so late after a day so full, but the magic was infinitely less. Pedestals built by memories are so often shattered by beings that shrink as their shadows loom larger. In a fortunate twist, the grip of the music is so old and ingrained that it remains past any temporary blips such as a change in taste.

Why can't they be like we were,
perfect in every way.
What's the matter with Kids today?
8-) Bye Bye Birdie - Medley

It's a sad thing, to write only as a last resort against boredom. As long as you're searching for alternatives when bored, reaching into yourself requires incredible will power. So much simpler to remain shut and waffle on and on and on about nothing.

So they opened a new place. A 10 scoop ice-cream cone for £30. At a per scoop rate it's not so bad. And to go there is an adventure of sorts.

The door filer sounds so much like a dentist's drill.
phaw

Ten painful minutes to go

2006-07-06T17:53:00.000+01:00

I must apologise for the number of typos in my last post. Truly appalling.
This has been the longest and most slow of days. One program messup, and an entire day watching the numbers tick over, agonisingly close to meaninglessly.

Europe pictures coming up soon, I shall spam them on yahoo, try to pick a more inspiring selection for here.

Gluck Auf is the traditional Austrian miner greeting. What fun people.

Wedding registrations are perfect here. Lovely music, calm settings, a snippet of the wedding-in-white, and over in 15 mins after which you must leave. Shame about the dinners afterwards.

The weather is luvalee. Office buildings lack the atmosphere for carefree running. Shame.

^_^

Lamentations of the Father -- by Ian Frazier

2006-07-04T15:59:00.000+01:00

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room. Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein. Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

Laws When at Table

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away.

When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you. Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert

For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert. But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert. But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof. And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert.
On Screaming

Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault. Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you, and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even now I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat of it myself, yet do not die.

Concerning Face and Hands

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not that humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

Complaints and Lamentations

O my children, you are disobedient. For when I tell you what you must do, you argue and dispute hotly even to the littlest detail; and when I do not accede, you cry out, and hit and kick. Yes, and even sometimes do you spit, and shout "stupid-head" and other blasphemies, and hit and kick the wall and the molding thereof when you are sent to the corner. And though the law teaches that no one shall be sent to the corner for more minutes than he has years of age, yet I would leave you there all day, so mighty am I in anger. But upon being sent to the corner you ask straightaway, "Can I come out?" and I reply, "No, you may not come out." And again you ask, and again I give the same reply. But when you ask again a third time, then you may come out.
Hear me, O my children, for the bills they kill me. I pay and pay again, even to the twelfth time in a year, and yet again they mount higher than before. For our health, that we may be covered, I give six hundred and twenty talents twelve times in a year; but even this covers not the fifteen hundred deductible for each member of the family within a calendar year. And yet for ordinary visits we still are not covered, nor for many medicines, nor for the teeth within our mouths. Guess not at what rage is in my mind, for surely you cannot know.

For I will come to you at the first of the month and at the fifteenth of the month with the bills and a great whining and moan. And when the month of taxes comes, I will decry the wrong and unfairness of it, and mourn with wine and ashtrays, and rend my receipts. And you shall remember that I am that I am: before, after, and until you are twenty-one. Hear me then, and avoid me in my wrath, O children of me.

_The Atlantic Monthly_; February 1997; Volume 279, No. 2; pages 89-90

I just dropped and eyelash and crushed a bug

2006-05-04T17:23:00.000+01:00

... with my fingers. Bleh. I thoguht it was a loose hair on my cheek. Twas an aphid. Green and dead.

Ah I am so bored. Sitting here doing nothing for hours, it's been this way for a couple of weeks now. Super-short projects that require hardly any of my time, and even less actual mental effort. Waiting for so long, for something crucial to come up. The other side, with its green grass and all, takes an awfully long time going over results to plan a future course of action. And in the meanwhile all I can do is dwindle, watching the minutes slowly go on till it hits 18:00 and I can dash out. They always find a super-short one for me just at the end of the day.

It feels good to write :p All those wonderful thoughts at night and nothing to really do at this point in time. I'm hardly in a most introspective mood sitting here, swinging idly to and fro. I'm promised a new project tomorrow, but just skimming through the draft doesn't make it look especially treacherous. Though I made a pretty table ^_^ Looks a bit like a Monopoly board, but probably only when I look at it. With so much time to spare, just throw in colours and wreck those ink cartridges. Typing out evil laughter is so distasteful.

Phaw. I even started reading some random blogs, but that didn't work out. Went through the entire archive of VG Cats (Strip in the post below, very good. Follow properties link and read the rest. Faaaaaa-hbulous gaming parodies XD ).

I need to buy black dye to make my Phantom of the Opera mesmer complete in Guild Wars. But it costs so much moooooney! Whatever will I do.

17:27. So close. I can trot over to hit the refresh button on a forum.

Charmed tonight. And Stacked. And Grey's Anatomy. Goodness. OH! And the new episode of Lost.

I should go out tomorrow. But all I want to do is play and read and read and play. Horrible lifestyle. But I wonder whether depriving myself of the things I want most is really the best way to go. Makes me fidgety company anyway.

Summers coming. No more big overcoats to hide my brush and badge, my iriver and book, my twix and tissue and mcdonalds monopoly vouchers. Which I threw out actually. Think it was day before. Yesterday. Ahh!!!! Punctuation is frizzing me bwain. *sob*

17.37. It passes so slowly. My ear hurts. It's fun-ish sitting in the park. Was so hot today! Did I mention that? Looks better outside now. Am guessing the tube trip shall not be too much of a nightmare.

18.02. Mesa go bye bye! *phew*

D&D Fun!

2006-04-28T12:49:00.000+01:00

Elevated

2006-04-07T12:03:00.000+01:00

Just to make things clear. The only reason I'm writing is that I've finished my work, and am fresh out of places to waste time till around 2pm.

That's elevated by the way. As related to escalated. Things that go up and down.

Sometimes though, they jam somehwere in the middle.

Marmlade, Marmaduke. I must confess, even the teeniest tiniest cold can explode into such a disaster for me. Weak weak weak. Phaw!

My lunch shall be a kit kat and pack of ribena. Carton of. Even.

Oh yes, the elevator. Lift. It jammed. Going home at what, half past eleven. And the dratted thing opens between floors. I'm staring at a brick wall, construction girders I suppose, and half the ground floor door beneath me. That of course, remains closed. Lucky it jammed so early though. Like roads, I normally charge blindly out of an elevator. Any higher and I'd have thunk tis my floor, and have a brick-shaped imprint in my head. The coolness of that is debatable.

Twas exciting in its own weird way, after I had actually gotten a grasp on what I was looking at. It's always times like these that you remember the falling lift in Resident Evil, where the person gets cut in two while trying to squeeze through. Only heroics I tried involved pressing the emergency button, dealing with the wonderful 999 service (an amusing/frustrating story in its own right, but more relevant to a local reader-ship that I shall cater to shortly), and waiting for the firebrigade. To make things fun of course, after prying the doors open he did mention I should jump quickly before the lift starts moving on account fo the repair efforts on a different floor.

Adrenaline, Hoo Haa!

I did of course insist on handing my coat down before I jumped. With all the paraphernelia in my pockets, would have been most cumbersome. Only injury sustained involved a rap on the head from the door frame. I forgot it was there in all my excitement. Fascinating photos taken, shall upload them some time. Oooh and there was chewing gum and ciggarrete stubs! In between the bricks. Meh. Neighbours separated by filth.

Ooh got something to do. w00t w00t!
Toodles.

My left wrist guides my life

2006-03-10T15:12:00.000Z

I really want to write something, but I think my muscles are cramped, just the littlest bit. And there's two hours to go until the bell rings, and I've finished all my classwork, and I can't do the prep until I meet my tutor and he tells me how.

I bought the first two episodes of Saber Rider and the Star Sherrifs very recently. Approx Rs.100, so not bad really. Just the memory is worth so much. I'll choke as I write it, but they just don't make cartoons like they used to. I'd stick my tongue out but feel fairly dehydrated. The water cooler is bubbling away, so far, so far.

Came up with two WoT builds for Guild Wars, in those spare moments of thinking that I have too often. Perrin Abayra would probably be a Hammer weilding Warrior/Ranger with a pet wolf. And an Ashaman would be an Elementalist/Warrior. Because they have swords and never seem to use them. Would be a waste of a weapon, but the look is ever so important. I suppose you could hold something magical in the other hand, to double as a Terangreal. Oh dear I've forgotten how it's spelt.

Shame
On
Me

Programs seem to be so much more satisfying if they flood your screen with a string of numbers once they're finished. A bit of flair, very impressive. For someone who couldn't decide between econ and comp.science three years ago, I must confess to being in a most intriguing position between the two. A dab of this, a swash of that.

There's a never-ending show in my head, as the music plays. And when it stops, I tell myself the story of my life. Occassional bouts of extreme exhaustion are thus easily, if embarassingly, explicable.

As I leant against the plastic-that-looks-like-glass (maybe twas flexiglass), in the tube, rumbling towards the comfort and relative warmth of home, I encountered a poor soul fighting desparately for survival. With my head bowed, the grape came darting towards me, rolling out from the grasp of the one that would have made short work of it. Leaving a glistening trail of juice, slime, as it rolled ever closer. Vascillating for a moment, looking for security, reassurance. And then taking those last steps to the relative safety provided by my personal zone. Stopping, right at the tip of my shoe, obligingly keeping its shine to itself. I would provide protection of course, for the grape had touched my heart. Truly. And social norms doth dictate that none may come so close as to crush it. But even as I thought these thoughts, and my love grew from a seed, calamity came rushing in. As the train pulled into a station, and one I may call a lady only if I hiss through my teeth, came clammering in, squashing my darling beneath her heavy boot. Were it not for a dramatic turn of events whereby a much more cheerful and infinitely less gooey song came on my mp3 player, I might truly have been scarred. For life.

There are of course other things. Deeper things, more sentimental things. Things that dreams are made of. Dreams where everyone has the same pair of shoes I do, and that is truly sad. The effects of absorbing a tv show too deeply. I would be willing to bet on that. If I could.

Why I feel comfortable enough to play stick cricket and not use msn, I do not know. But that is the path I must now follow. My topical reserves and fictional desires are drying up, growing too narrow. Though how a thing could actually grow to become narrow would be an interesting event to observe, if only it did not take so long to transpire. But now before I lose my own drift, some online game playing of the mediocre kind calls. At least, until the bell rings.

Muhahaha

2006-03-03T12:20:00.000Z

This is Sindy, at Warp Speed 5

2006-02-22T14:04:00.000Z

:o

What's this? Writing every other day. It is truly most remarkable.

Well, usually I feel like writing after having read something, y'know. Now I just roll a cigar round'n'round because my mind has not absorbed any literary gem in ever so long, the Vampire Lestat being the last truly most luscious thing I digested. Though the warmth from it bubbled through my system for days after, the lack of a suitable nutrient from that time on has left me flailing miserably. Back to me and my ideas, and the exhausting task of putting them down. Little sparks of fairy dust flying off, witherign and dissolving in the wind. Disolving.

As numbers shoot up and down my screen, it is not so rare an occassion that I might sit back and twiddle my thumbs, vainly protecting them from the dear Devil. After all, what is there to do now but wait. Wait and flood my screen with a barrage of meaningless words, in the neverending quest of self-definition.

You don't understand me. Phaw! I don't understand me. Understanding is oooooover-rated.

I'm having a mildly destructive week at work really. Keep breakign things. Blamelessly. Smile.

:-)

How obliging.

And now (*lock fingers, palms outwards, push so that you hear your phalanxes pop, like some maestro, pianist*) for a story. Yes that was phalanxes. P'raps it was phalanges. P'raps not. My memory... it fails me. Ever so often. Ever so rarely.

(*clear throat Mulan style - Ping*)

Like all stories this story needs a setting. And the setting is this. A barbers shop, lacking a quartet. Quaint swirly red-white thing hovering above the door, that staple of barbers, the name of which I forget.

What little sunlight there is filters through the unblocked portion of the windows. Where it isn't stopped by the black open sign, a shockingly fair price list, and the customary phtographs of people displaying hairstyles they couldn't possibly have obtained from this establishment.

Opening the door brings that smell of perfume mixed with antiseptic rushing to flood your senses. A great deal more agreeable than the undiluted formula used by most hospitals. A fellow ( because he could only be a 'fellow', this most distinguished sort of gentleman ) sits on two of the four waiting chairs, with their faded peach covering. Curly black hair, and a leather jacket of the sort that is the leather jacket, with an air of European-ness about him. He plays with a child. Blonde, girl, presumably his daughter. It lends a certain authenticity to the image.

The coats once taken hang one after the other in a stately row, as the Greek, for he could only be Greek, (perhaps Cypriot?) barber guides the next innocent towards his chair. Here he practises his craft, in front of the giant mirror adorned with pictures of his home, and his family.

If only the lights were a little more dim, one might be inclined to think it's the scene from an old movie. The perfect front. For the mafia. Where they can keep an eye on their protected businesses, from the safety and comfort of a self-run establishment such as this. What a perfect setup. Too perfect. Perfect enough to lose oneself in, to the extent that the cry of alarm that should come as the jagged blades comes swooping down is lost. And then it is too late.

The damage done, all that is left is something to reflect upon. But it is only hair. It grows back.

It's all a part, big or small, of the grand adventure.

And they lived happily ever after.

^_^

Hell March

2006-02-21T13:30:00.000Z

Isn't that title a week or so early?

Hardly. For it refers not to any predictive powers I may or may not have (*he shifts uncomfortably in his seat at this point*) but more to do with that most memorable of tunes.

You never quite struck me as the Black Sabbath type. And if it is a song, it does sound most agressive.

What little can be explained in (*look at watch*) eight minutes. But it is a song I have recovered most recently, back from the time when a sweet piece of software made its way into my domain, and onto my cake. The general poise is much the same today. Lower incisors leaving gashes in the upper ones. Molars locked together like disjointed building blocks. Facial muscles relaxed and oblivious as a flurry of thoughts passes from one end of the being to the other. The occassional laugh, a short 'Ha' breaks the monotony. It only takes a short 'Ha', to be transmitted as a 'looool'.

I'm only smiling on the outside, this grin is only skin deep.
I'm crying on the inside, won't you join me for a weep.

Go on. Giggle deliriously. Think of it as a challenge. (*A look that is almost hungry now, ravenous wolves as they approach a prey near death - Almost*)

If you had four minutes to reflect upon any little oddity in life, which one would you pick.

There's a chimney. I can see it everyday. Traditional, amongst the rooftops of London. Just how a chimney should be. But this one has an orb of some sort. The word orb just being fancy for a spherical object, and hardly captivating in a fantastical sense. But it continues to spin. A silver sphere with discernible ridges, and every day I see it spinning away in earnest, with or without the gentle touch of the wind. And when the sun makes its rare appearance, it comes off in a sharp beam, thrown wildly around as my orb spins on oblivious to the shadows it might cast. I oft wonder what it does there, and perhaps one day I might ask one who may know. But that, then, shall be the end of yet another mystery.

Time flies like the wind. fruit flies like bananas

2006-02-21T13:27:00.000Z

I need to see a rainbow
And I need to see a shooting star
For it has been too long
Since I have seen either

2006-02-17T16:31:00.000Z

Tut

Why would you say that?

Because it's not the same as happiness. There's too much in this world for anyone to ever be contented. Where would you go from there?

2006-02-16T13:25:00.000Z

Being contented sucks

In those little spaces

2006-02-05T16:18:00.000Z

I was a man of principles.
I try to be a man of principles.
But principles make for a slippery rope with which to climb up life.
I am a man of plans.
Unmade, impossible plans.
And I needs someone to carry them out.
For me.

I can smell the sea

2006-01-30T12:05:00.000Z

When your shoulder pops.
Every tendon stretched so that your nerves scream endlessly for relief.
Fingers reaching out, miles short, quivering with the desire to break free of their mortal boundaries.
Thin grey tendrils coiling out, figments of ones imagination.
Wrapping themsevles around a small snapshot.
Disappearing as they lightly embrace your desire.
Drifting away, fading into the distance like so many fine grains of sand.
Dispersed by the wind, dispersed by a dream.
What is forgotten, and what is remembered.
Breaking unspoken truces with the past.
It matters not.
Things shall come to pass unaffected by such wavering.
But perhaps they shall be different.
And perhaps not.

excessive faraghat.
how it doth lead us astray.
curses.

Life. Strife. And the Fluff in between.

2005-10-05T01:40:00.000+01:00

The first time I came up with those words was for some forgotten GP Essay. Now I no longer remember their significance, only that I grew oddly attached to them. One of my millions of children that I could not have orphaned. So-to-speak.

It's past half past one. The laptop is in my room. Any other day, any other time, I would be found working on any number of projects I have lined up for myself. But not this day. Saying that perhaps not as impressively as Aragon did, nor with as much conviction. My head is so heavy, thoughts running in a viscous fluid, colliding with one another and off the walls, bearing no relation to that which surrounds them. Why I came here is largely unknown to me. Had things to catch up with in the blog world, slowly drifted this way. We go where the wind steers us, and it is a time for winds for never before have I felt less in control of my own trajectory. Roll that off your tongue. Tra-Ject-Tor-eeee. Big words aren't for me, though that is by no standard big. Reassuring little snippets of information such as having your verbal skills in the top 15% of the pool mean a lot and little simultaneously.

With a countless number of writings on destiny, several in fact coming out as whole coherent thoughts for the most part, it shall not be my fate tonight to dwell on it. Rather I would dwell on this urge to keep my index fingers flicking off keys with no real purpose behind them other than an urge to write. To ramble and go on about nothing, all the time resisting the temptation to begin on the many somethings that all have their own cells to which they are confined until I have the strength of will to deal with their explosive natures. Then of course I shall display them to the world, but with less of a personal emphasis, as the me-me-me part of my life is so largely the domain of this land and that other hidden portal.

Frustration comes out in fumes. Great inhalations that are let out through the teeth in an odd hissing manner that would be so much more impressive if I could breathe out smoke and fire. It's not so common an emotion, born more of the cooping than anything else. And this idea I had, lost now. It was supposed to be in my future post, but the thought was of a post much unlike this, and the line so far removed it hurts to recall. It.

If you place your teeth so that just the tips of your incisors are touching, it's like a gret collapsed cave, with a pink beast inside. Fighting to get out. Fascinating insights from the mirror. Other mirror-reflections came when staring for so long that the image began to blur. Not daring to blink, I saw my face contort and form something different. Arched eyebrows coming in a sharp V at the centre. A goti, and eyes burning with a rage and hatred unknown to me. For what it's worth, I humour myself with thoughts of how it's another side of me that lends protection against parts of this world that can't be dealt with a smile and a wave. Sure. Complete protection...

Realy about nothing then this was. A futile exercise perhaps. This has become an avenue for so much spontaneous pointless writing with no secret of great value, I doubt the blog title really fits anymore. Web address works like a charm though. As does my avatar. I wonder how long it might ocntinue to define me, in some vague manner.

Vague. Hahahaha.

Give me three words to describe you.
Creative, Curious and Colourful.

Not the perfect answer to that dreadful question. But I like it. Because when asked about it I can grin and roll another word around in my mouth. A word that tastes like solid dust, empty air, featherweight bubblegum. Late night adjective barrage, ridiculous. Ludicrous is a nice roller too.

Oh but wait. That wasn't the one I meant. Creative, curious, colourful child. Please oh please let that be alliteration.

Because I would love it so if it were.

Going Stale

2005-09-26T19:14:00.000+01:00

When reality infringes upon the dream world.

But there goes my little boat, replaced by a fair ship. A feeling that I'm not alone though no other is visible. Gone is my calm, still ocean. The boat-ship bounces along on the water, until larger stronger waves come to send it skidding through feet of nothingness. Then comes the tidal. Massive blue with streaks of white and it's jagged top. Towering over my tiny vessel, the great wall rushing towards me. A fair blue sky suddenly darkens and I feel panic surround me. Not inside of me but a strong sense of it from those invisible beings that inhabit my boat with me. Holding on to some support, perhaps it was a railing. Or maybe a mast, though the image of one doesn't come readily to the mind. The complete absence of all sound but the water crushing it's own surface as it rapidly devours anything that might stand before it.
And then it hits.
Warm air, blowing against my face and a sudden darkness descend upon me. No water. No great force to throw me into the waiting arms of the ocean. More of a hairdryer held too low. And from that swirl comes a new image. Another land, familiar and not. But that's a tale for another time. Or one for no time at all.

Ghosts of the Kicks donts listen with the Talks

2005-09-23T19:49:00.000+01:00

Sometimes it is reason enough to enter such lands, that the subject is a line I'd like to keep for a virtual forever. And though the amusement might fade, it's nice just to remember the first-times. Of things so many. Nice is such a small word, of pastries and fondant.

There's a lull in my life. A part of it. Though my days fly past me and 24 hours have rarely seemed as short, I feel shored. A lifetime spent standing on the shoulders of giants, what does it feel like to step off such a pedestal from where all could remain ordered and apt from a distance, and fine skills honed that have never withstood the test of humanity - much less time. To jump off, hitting the ground in a roll that just barely keeps the feet below and the head above, vast still oceans stretch in all directions, and the giants lumber off away from their concerns with miniscule masters. From way high up, there was so much to learn. And the teachers were always the best. Yet the uneven surface so far down puts things in an odd sort of perspective, though I gaze but from a corner of the eye.

Of things I have learnt, and things they tried to teach, of building boats much was said. Piece them together from the scraps around, and hold those together with a glue boiled over the years. More woe is me, that in the boiling of the glue my mind did waver, and so it was left to its own devices and those of the knowledge sat and said not. But now that they are gone to build anew would be perhaps more foolishness than that currently undertaken. And so the boat, flimsy and patched yet held together was pushed off, into the great sea, so open and empty to one eye, crowded with better and worse through the other. It isn't much. Just till the next island, where I might restock, rebuild or buy. Those who have travelled on heads in the clouds, a little swim would do no end of good. In the end, there must be more. Just a short sail, but with no map nor compass, each island is ever further, lost in a sudden fog.

Retail therapy isn't in the least bit overrated. Collectors editions of the the Chronciles and Legends of Dragonlance, with a budget-busting keyboard. Greensleeves is such a mellow influence, so far from the thoughts that gave birth to this. Where do I stand now? But a bit of Latin, a dash of Music, and years of reading. I'll be all the better for it, for no Captain of any one-man ship should step off without the slightest change. What a waste that would be.

Babes, tell them why I don't the trust the Indians.
Sorry?
Egjactly...

Governments CAN create new LAWS. But churches can't create New SINS!

2005-08-23T17:22:00.000+01:00

http://www.latrinalia.org/home.html

What wisdom can be found scribbled on toilet walls? Well we've all seen our fair share of them, inside and out. The level of wisdom does occassionally rise above X Heart Y, or exchanges between geek and bully in moments of quiet contemplaion. The above site, in what serves as yet another example of how educational the web can be, serves to show the many little scribbles of graffiti caught within those most smelly of throne rooms.
It is perhaps even inspiring, perhaps I shall visit public bathrooms more frequently just so that I might glimpse these snippets of wisdom, maybe even add my own. Of course, one should never go anywhere without a pen handy, or a small black marker. But then my few experiences in such realms have left me shattered, afraid. The pub in Camden especially set new standards in toilet hygeine. Urinals for all their fearsome sheen never came quite close to that flowing river, following the wall in a small trench-like shape. How wild. The only request when asking for a seat in a plane is keep it far far away from that most frequented area. But what adventure is without its fair share of peril?

I got spammed! On this, most precious of blogs. Where all are welcome equally, bearers of roses love poems and chronos. A shame then that they never realised pictures don't really qualify for the flowery praise they had showered upon me. I have enough fools for mindless flatery when the need arises, talk freely or not at all. And then I might even click on something that shall inevitably destroy the soul of this poor laptop.

For the security that apartments provide, the variety of smells in each corridor could make any dogs day. Pushing open one heavy wooden fire-proof door to get into a new bend, and the aroma of gravy and roast potato quickly changes to old socks. Apples and worms, fresh bread and mould. So why am I so grateful that there's no real corridor to my own, other than the fact that after a tiring day when a pizza waits, both good gravy and old socks can ruin a most magical moment. Mmmmm-ozerella. ^_^

The cleaners for the now returned grandparental apartment were most evil. One ran off because he was a carpet cleaner! Like, Hell-oh-o. Why didn't you say so? Not to mention the more professional staff that decided dumping a load of old boxes outside the main lift would be a good way to dispose of them. Lucky for me I was all dressed at 11 in the morning when the complaints came in. Heaving boxes into the skippy is a great start to any day! But hey that particular day weren't so bad, finally saw the much famous Rainforest. Great decor, awful music. Sway, sway, sway. Blech.

Collapsing in your own bed in all your clothes and gadgets other than the mighty boots must count as a sleepover, even if it were local. The other was of course more deserving of the word, but it's always good to end a day in bed with my book. Sweet bliss. But a song of ice and fire remains a bringer of much grief, and torn I am now between what is good and what is evil, as in their hearts if they belive they are just and right, how can one dispue it but by the laws of ones own morality?

How wee-eerd

2005-08-18T22:51:00.000+01:00

Things that I have accomplished recently are both few and noteworthy, such things as they are. Things such as, finally fixing my blogs timezones. Expanding in the name of all things pretty and futile. Fiddling with blueteeth. Filling in a plethora of job applications. Oh, and finally watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Life in its ruthlesness means I shall comment on but two. The movie was by far the weirdest little smidgen I've viewed in a long long time, but couple Tim Burton and Roald Dahl and one should expect no less. The Oompa Loompas are perhaps scarier than their orange predecessors. Or is scarier. Who knows. I also admit to no longer being capable of dleivering an unbiased assessment of Depp's performances. The man is a genius. With slight hints of Jim Carrey here, but still a genius. How weird :-D Delightful really ;)

On job apps. I see not the point of applications that take me a good hour, only to be followed by a questionnaire with a preset pass style. Seems my somewhat honest answers did me no good, nor should they have. When creativity comes before commercial awareness, it was a matter of shooting myself in the foots, so to speaketh. But I could never put creativity a measly second. For then what would I be, but a fool repeating from the Book of 1000 jokes.

My brother starts uni soon now, those nasty little A-Lev results out the way as they be. Time for a little heave-ho and settling in new unexplored lands. Tired as I am of what is a wonderful but too ill-suited to myself little town, any adventure no matter how small must beat the same walk down the pleasant high street.

Danny Elfman sang! Eeeek! Oh gods I didn't do that, but it was wonderful! And as an Oompa Loompa no less ^_^

If to take thy lords name in vain is blasphemy, is it better to say oh gods?

Winter is coming

2005-08-17T23:00:00.000+01:00

A distorted reality is now a necessity to be free.
Let's talk about life for a while: The conflicts, the craziness, the sound of pretences falling all around.
I do not know the answers to the universe I fear, so drown me cold and find your perfect man dear.

MSN screen names, among so many, with every voice crying out to be heard, putting forth some little snippet of wisdom that struck home. And a rant can stay true only so long as the venom is good, after which it dribbles from the mouth in sickly spludges, and leaves but a hint of the kill. The distaste, the despair, the dismay. That so man are countered by just delight is yet another cruel trick played not by gods but by men. Like so many other tricks, that leave us with a sour taste in our mouth. To thank we have none, none but those as are our brothers, our sisters, our ancestors.

One need not be from beyond the stars to be alien. But the human race, studied from without or within, is like a subject any other. Intriguing and discouraging, exciting and surprising, yet in the end droll. Where men race, for food, for love, for coin. A social animal worse than the beasts it tames. Physically superior, morally inferior. Or perhaps it is the other way around. Or perhaps it's the coin that spins on its side, forever threatening to land one way or the other.

Men, and men of wo, have both in their quests forgotten what they quest for. They live to dream, but of ever thousand dreamers, there is not but one that will. Will, what?

Foul moods that drift in from nowhere, dark clouds of nothingness that can settle upon the soul. Stifling it, so that the body that is whole and hearty can be a constraint. The heat batters the head, the crown hangs limp past the shoulders in dark heavy strands when the clouds beat upon it with their tears.

To stand aloof, above men and their petty worries yet amongst them, as a part of them. The senator from Gladiator, who spoke : "I do not pretend to be a man of the people, but I do try to be a man for the people". We all dream, of the changes we can make, born with the potential. The eye that sees, or is made to see. A world grown smaller, closer. And yet the demons of men haunt us, hold us back with their worries and their bowstrings of gold.

When death is feared, is it truly for it is the unknown? A rollercoaster that cuts through high trees to plunge into the darkness beyond is the unknown. A closed exam paper is the unknown. Both with an idea of what lies beyond. But such is death, and for those that believe there is nothing beyond, perhaps it is to be feared less. And such thoughts can leech from life what makes it worth the trials. The, wossname, tribulations. What fear is there, but what we leave behind incomplete. Such things as make us weak. As does love. As does family. As does honour, a pride. But without such weakness, most the intrigue of man is gone. Most the intrigue, and all the conflict.

Men, and those of wo, so close yet so far apart. Them as are sharp and blunt. And them as see the divisions shimmer and blur, while those with the unpassable chalk line between. All, three, subjects of much thought, but as the venom fades, and the bite is left but of sharp fangs and old blood, perhaps now is not the time.

And oft do I speak where it is not my place. And there where speak I must, I should. That is where the words that should flow as a salve fade into a jest ill-timed. Or fade, period. Into the void that takes what is most needed and turns it into perilous smoke. But the walls have ears, as do the fools. Sometimes, talking to a brick wall, tis not so bad.

Where braver men dare not wander

2005-08-16T09:13:00.000+01:00

True geeks know what it is to be the friend who listens. Sensitive, intelligent, beautiful girls come to us for meaningful talk and profound empathy, then go back to their idiot boyfriends for wild, monkey sex.

Probably the most moving thing I've ever read in a game review. Then there was the bit about how so many names in Fantasy literature seem to be made up from the leftovers at Scrabble.

Drinking water immediatly after brushing your teeth is the only way to have a truly invigorating minty experience.

It burnsssssssssss, preciousss.

Speaking in a knightly fashion is most joyous. M'lord, lady.
My date with destiny is not far off, the road to the future shall soon be revealed.

Dungeons and Dragons

2005-08-12T09:19:00.000+01:00

"I want to be a dwarf. Wit a giant two-sided Lockaber. Mad killing machine, etc etc"
"You need a name"
"Dopey"
Random scribblings in the computer lab. The dice rolled secretly while Raja drones on about something or the other. Use your imagination. Dice. Paper. Photocopies. Two big fat books.
"Read them"
"Sure"
Like anyone ever did ::)
"I wanna be an elf. And elf prince. With magic. And my parents must be missing, eventually. Great ruler. Unlimited power. The chosen one.... Rayinzar Stormcloud."
The name stuck anyway.

A party of orcs appears over the horizon. The elf, the dwarf and the halfling stand with a giant half-giantish thing with them. Green warriors. The dwarf and the giant move forwards. The elf tries to hide behind one. The halfling...
"I roll to hide under the donkey"
"You can't do that"
"I can, I roll under its saddle"
"Ok, roll"
Rolls. But it's insignificant. Some things are just not meant to be.

The gods don't play dice with the universe. They only throw the dice where you can't see them. Probably from a Pratchett book. The only real mistake was saying anything is possible. Sometimes excessive creativity can cause a lot of mayhem. That, and a general lack of enthusiasm when it takes a hundred dice rolls to kill a giant. But if rolling the dice ever decided fate, seeing how they land was no consolation when the numbers could be manipulated by higher powers.

It's just a far-fetched thought. Comparing D&D to real-life would undoubtedly make for some exciting theses, and probably already has. It would also be the same as comparing life to a bottle floating with the question toe the life, the universe and everything floating across a wide ocean. That too, can be justified. And would be of unparalleled interest. If writing it up could get me a doctorate I'd do it. The maroon fluffy hats were ever so appealing.

I believe now, setting aside the heavily geeky tones of this write-up, that D&D is flawed in its basic design. If played by friends, it causes as much contention as any game, because no game is just a game. And the poor feller in charge must watch a perfectly good plot fade away to nothingness. Yet without the unlimited ability for manipulation present in such a close knit scenario, all the fun is gone. Like all observations, this too is greatly skewed by my own particular approach to all things fantastical.

As the party moves away from the orc onslaught, two giant ogres appear on the top of the hill. One swings a giant club and knocks the elf flat. The gnome lets fly his weapon...
... and proceeds to knock this poor elf on the head. I must say that having blood flowing in the midst of a fight really helped add to the realism. I couldn't believe it was there till lookied in the mirror. For a gnome, Adeel can be quite dangerous.

Off to ze library tomorrow ^_^

Boredom Bites.

2005-08-12T08:45:00.000+01:00

"Ever since Hideo Nakata adapted Koji Suzuki's book, Ringu, into a film of the same name, little Japanese girls have been associated less with sugar, spice and everything nice and more with terror, bloodshed, and everything unholy."

Finishing off most of A Game of Thrones in a rapid session left my life in a most despair-filled lull this afternoon. I picked up a PSP in Dubai, but marathon Ridge Racer rounds worked terrible nightmares on my thumbs. Left/Right, X-Toggle, smash smash smash. And then, bookless, and so tired to move I'd have made Homer proud, it was a difficult path to the LT and the general collapse in front of msn, the energy to go so far as surfing websites just a little bit beyond my horizon.
I love to singa about the moona and the juna and the luna!

Of course, when boredom strikes, it works quickly to disable all sorts of energy sources. I killed several convos, and had at least one person go into a strop. Yay, then! Oh dear. I think I'm bored just talking about this now. It sounded better in my head.

It doesn't want to be heard! Horror...

Ray is really a cheerful uppity sort of person. This blog is a lie. His current ambitions are nothing more profound than downloading can you do the can-can and going to a cabaret. Celine Dion and Josh Groban are depressing. They should be shot. They're also amazing. That doesn't change anything.

Boredom also somehow saw me watching Lucky. I've never felt more miserable with myself. So unable to crush my own suffering. For the stop button, was just, so far, away.

commas. a desparate mans best friend. stop.

Gems from the web

2005-08-11T18:48:00.000+01:00

Deep Questions :

1 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

2 Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

3 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

4 Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

5 Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

6 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

7 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

8 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

9 Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

10 What is the speed of darkness?

11 Are there specially reserved parking spaces for non-disabled people at The Special Olympics?

12 If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

13 If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

14 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

15 If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

16 Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

17 If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

18 Can you cry under water?

19 What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

20 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

21 Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

22 How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

23 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

24 If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

25 Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

26 Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ............ they're still going to see you naked anyway.

How you can tell your life is suddenly meaningless

2005-08-11T08:01:00.000+01:00

The listed qualifications show only a glimpse of the experience I have collected that allows me to utilise a variety of skills in various real-life scenarios. Having worked in widely different settings, many of them trying volunteer situations with children and those with learning disabilities, I am well-versed in dealing with adversity and providing a fresh invigorating outlook.
To work in the industry, from a position that would allow so much of the rapidly evolving and globalising world to be analysed in detail is inherently appealing to someone with my background. With extensive studies in the manner that business today affects the world, and has been changing it over the years, to be able to immerse myself in its intricate structure and adapt my knowledge to produce real results is inherently appealing. The opportunity at Goldman Sachs, right at the forefront of the business world promises unparalleled exposure and a fresh new challenge around every corner.
Having dedicated myself to the pursuit of circumstances that shall test my potential, there is no other field that would allow me to “hit the ground running” and truly bring out the best in me. I believe that while the breadth of this opportunity is truly attractive for myself, with my own experience and energy, I could be a real asset to the company as well.

:-/

Scribbled Notes

2005-08-05T22:06:00.000+01:00

Since I do intend to write up something or the other on my little tirp, though probably from home mark II, this be just a little outline made primarily for myself.

Triumph.
Trans-American.
Police Wala.
Papasallis.
Mint Icecream.
Critters.
Communist Maifesto.
The blue boy.
Flooding.
Pride rock.
Daewoo.
Mountain driving.
Bust silencer.
Munna bhai :$
The lounge-5hrs.
Traffice light counters.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S & Friends.
Arrogant City Driver.
Bloodlust: Subspecies III
Shutting up shop.
Mountain Dew.
Sheet lightning.
Resteraunts.
Stool Pigeon.
Traffic past 12.

Ah and yes my grad pic, to lend a little substance to an otherwise empty entry :)
Oh and I got the most fun emoticons, silly little pleasures ^_^

Bleh they stretched it! Figure it later, oh hey they played Rapture throughout. w00t-ness!

I've been watching your world from afar...

2005-08-05T08:34:00.000+01:00

Only just realised how much I like my icon. After using it for almost two years, it's really me. Which is not entirely suprising, but pleasant. In its own way. No apostrophe.

First off, a super-duper BIG thank you to Saady for allowing me to remain mobile throughout phase II of my Lahori quest. I always find it easier to publicly acknowledge people who would take a long time getting around to finding out, mwaha. But yay I got to see the rains and the flooding and hit MOST of my old joints, get high, and in a very very odd fashion, fall somewhere in between back and not. Small little things I'll go into later, or maybe never. But I've had so much chicken on this trip. The whole of it, and probably more for the next 4ish days. Chickeny trip ^)^

In unemployment, I shall go back to writing short stories, yessirree :-D Anyway Stephen King uses some brilliant analogies/metaphors/similies but is such an arrogant author. I'm half-inspired and half disillusioned, but one half is bigger than the other.

Lastly, because I have much reading to do tonight, a customary silly picked stitched together bit of wisdom. Which is actually complete and utter rubbish. Or is it?

Only fools give advice, and only fools take it.
Advice, not instruction, is valuable both to the old and the young.
And those that think they need it not would still do well to take some, now, then, and again.

So many stitches! Ta ta tee tee eff, enn, what a muddle :)

The Boar Talks...

2005-08-02T01:05:00.000+01:00

words or music or words or music or words or music or words aur music...
I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
though the haze clears so much more.

Because wrestling can be quite boring, and life away from its usual charms so different, with adaptability stretched to the breaking point, it's there that we learn self-sufficiency and how to fade away into our ownimagination, and face the nightmares, hideous as they are with a sense of adventure.
Fragment Error ::)

Popeye

2005-07-31T00:44:00.000+01:00

Ooooooooh buggeritbuggeritbuggerit! More than half my previous post vanished in my 'orrid attempts to change the font but didn't tell me till now. Gah.

I'm going to start making a list of "The Odd Little Things" wherein I shall compile all those little tidbits such as the sudden appearance of trolls on the day they were discussed or the devil walking htrough the front door only as he's spoken of, yet is entirely unexpected. Learning the secret of spinning boiled eggs or learning the word disconbobulated only to find it suddenly in use. I shall then publish this list, made up of random entries, and become a multi-millionaire. Future. Taken care of. Hah!

Speaking of the little things, I still can't seem to balance on just one foot while trying to put a sock on the other :-/ Nor can I seem to drive a manual with over-excessive revving. And of lesser woes, Stephen King is not only a bad writer, he's unneccassarily disgusting, too. Bah.

I y'am what I y'am
& that's what I y'am...
That's why I can't be someone else!
Toot Toot!
^_^

Things of Note

2005-07-30T10:42:00.000+01:00

A story read at 2am
Missing a 50th comment
Watching "Down with Love"
Feeling cold while the heat remains outside
Feeling thirsty with the kitchen 5 feet away
Unable to move upstairs past 2am
Contemplating the extent of my confusion
Gazing at a bright orange MSN icon
Captured souls within vessels unable to do their bidding
Come-Moon-Ick-8
Tired and scared. Scared and tired.

I've been kissed by a Dementor <3>Children of the night, winged we be
Feathers are just an accessory
Made that up. Just now. Insightful if you know how to read into it.

One word texts.
Right.
Just a bit of silliness. Really.
:-D

Ebony and Ivory

2005-07-30T00:25:00.000+01:00

Side by side on my keyboard... amongst other things. Wish I could still play, but the crawling sensation of a vein moving across various bones in my hand as I would practise eventually became unbearable.
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
Alison Krauss, Buffy, resurfaced from a folder marked Gogz. Had quite a run on my mp3 player, and that was all so long ago. Only, not really.

Saw Aitchsion again, in a fashion. Trapped in the layer of a mighty red dragon, we tried to escape by solving the set puzzle before we were devoured. We (and the we changed often, from friends to family to people I share some strange bond with but have yet to meet) were the last survivors, caught in the dizzying heat. It was a book, filled with strange symbols, but eventually someone (thank the Lord for him) did something, and the dragon began to negotiate. He (assuming it was a male dragon, didn't stop to check) let us run then. Why the running scenes were all shot in splendid technicolour with Barry Block in the background and those other random buildings is a mystery for later. But we ran, down the road towards the amphitheatre/prep school. And in the running we came across a stream really, cutting across our field of vision as far as it would go. Skirmishing soldiers from different factions stood on either side, exchanging the odd blow but mostly standing ground. There was, however, no way to pass. The dragon erupted, red scales shimmering, breahing fire over those memorable red brick buildings. Typically, they remained unaffected. Hell fire would be hard pressed to damage them. But the dragon roared towards us. The we by now was most cerainly family, perhaps because it is such a set up that allows me to be most heroic ::)
Pushing and shoving, we took cover first here then there. Famliar classrooms, old archways, LJ house, overgrown plantlife. But everywhere we hid, a knight in brilliant red plate would come upon us, followed soonafter by our nemesis. A rather brilliant scene, in which my own special effects rather impressed me, was when the flames licked the road, streaming down it past the hockey grounds, while I dived off just in time. It took perhaps too long to learn the knights were scouts for dragonzolla, and when we did the time for negotiation came. And someone that was a part of we strummed a merry tune on a nearby harp, to soothe the savage beast.

I have finally, for the first time ever really, started reading Stephen King. Isn't half scary. But some of it is quite bad. The life of such desperation is not a pretty thing.

Sifting through the websites of a hundred companies, a half-hearted quest that I must complete only so as to be rid of it. Though I scorn over ambition, the sort that possess one and becomes a being itself, surrounded by an infernal aura crushing, burning all that stand before it, I wish I had some ambition. An injection of reality, though to the imagination what water is to fire, is perhaps needed. On your feet soldier! The Big Enchilada? Oh get a job and then immerse yourself in the monotony of it all. Just the thought turns me colder than a jackhammer to the back. Convuluted, or some... such :)

Reimmersion in the world I left behind. It's a curious process. Where's the world I left behind? The cottage that burnt down and was never rebuilt. The same structure that stands, so empty of life. Because to sound all emotional or sentimental about it would be wrong. It's both above and beyond, below, insignificant. Yearning for them yesteryears, but even the safety of school is better than limbo.

What would I like above all? To be ten times stronger, more agile, and a crimefighter. Still. And we can save the world from behind a desk. Staring at numbers that come floating past, making sense of our existence and the way it all works. Finance is, at the heart of it, the matrix. Don't shove that pill down my throat. For me it'll just be a pretty screensaver. To spin a web so grand, must start so unimaginably small that it seems impossible.

No. Let's talk about TERMINATOR guys! Be like water. Water in a jug, water is the jug. Water in a glass, water is the glass. I am water. I am, the moon. Water on the moon. Rapid, swift, be as strong as the coursing river. Oh dear :)

A fleeting glimpse, a shadows touch, I have been that so often. Glance of the ghost. And the exploding colours, endless spirals of creative destruction, none transmitted to nobody. Lost in the midst of my soul. So little comes from hand, from mouth. Voice, and deft fingers. A surgeons hands.

I'd like to be hypnotised. Just to see. Because nothing's really ever wrong. The waters are always smooth, sometimes the odd stone slips and makes a splash. The taste of life most bitter, unique, yet so far unless forced in some demented pleasure. Sleeping for 24 hours was, truly, marvellous.

Golden Dip

2005-07-28T02:12:00.000+01:00

The rose at the end of the Half-Blood Prince that my sister had placed there to flatten provided a most suitable finish. The book, the las quarter, was just ...

So much has happened, that to put it all down,
Pen to paper,
Quill to Parchment
... Keytap to Screen.

Where's the will? :)

I Can't Find My Hair Creams!!!!1 :'(

2005-07-20T09:17:00.000+01:00

Ok so I'm here. Passport control deserves a most vicious review. I think I'm spoilt. Everything feels so odd, but it's only Isloo and my memories here are few and concentrated. Result was good, thanks for the wishes. Graduation was odd. A completely different sort from the afore-mentioned oddity of course. Lahore shall be truly, odd. Hehe.
And now onto job apps. All coupled between root reconnection and seeing exactly how badly I could unfit myself ^_^

Oh. My taxi driver performed the elongated vicious spit maneuver. Hallelujah.
And we missed my grandfather who was waiting at the airport. Hallelujah^2
::)

Sweeping changes under the rug

2005-07-12T08:42:00.000+01:00

To put things in order, and cover them in syrup, would require the use of faculties currently on a sabbatical.

Found this rather brilliant top at River Island. Went shopping for the people we're supposed to bring stuff too, but my voucher ended up turning into mine. Way-hey!

My first accident was only as dramatic as I deserve. While loading the car for the week training trip to Leicester, the car needed to be pushed just a leetle bit forwards, to make room and what not. In a bout that derived itself from laziness and a desire for random experimentation, I pushed down the handbrake from outside, pressed on the footbrake with my hand and shifted the gear to drive. Car > Shot Forward > Open door banged pillar > Door slammed shut on legs still outside the car, dragging body along with it > Flying half outside the vehicle, one hand luckily found the handbrake to pull up hard > Major damage to Mercedes in front avoided > Bruises ... Ouch!
I still drove, a lot, from Tuesday to Saturday, still reeling! ^^

London got the Olympics, yay. The other thing that happened was unknown to me until I received a worried first text, and responded to in a completely flippy manner. Quite frustrating.

Result out Tuesday, by 8pm. Wish me luck. I don't know how that works, the wishing, or any other. But all the same, it's the end so if it goes well, wouldn't be a bad thing, really.

Can't honestly be looking forward to going back right now. Just seems a bit odd. But the rain lashing against every window, and memories of F37's means there's something there. The rest's a little daunting.

Oh. Live8 was brilliant. Period.

La la la la, Lalalalala, Lalalala, La La...

2005-07-10T08:55:00.000+01:00

Beyond your wildest dreams is by far an arrogant statement. And if the world was really as twisted as certain conspiracy theories make it out to be, it would in most probability, be a better place to live in.

Ooooops!

2005-07-01T05:04:00.000+01:00

Bad font bad font! Gah... wail wail wail *slap*

... because editing would have been so much less dramatic, non?

Does the walker choose the path, or the path choose the walker?

2005-07-01T05:02:00.000+01:00

Technically, I'm sure I've used that line before, but it has reattained significance. Did just finally wrap up Sabriel, having started it months ago before it was rudely snatched away by fate and library rules <_<

Unfortunately it wasn't incredibly fulfilling. Never did develop a taste for books that leave unfinished mysteries, but considering it has a sequel, I'll plough through that before formulating a final opinion. Lemony Snicket continues to surprise me, and by surprise I don't mean comes to me unexpectedly but more that he "writes in a pleasantly refreshing style". The point is there, and in a day and age where the world goes goo-goo over Potter, reading Childrens books has never been so acceptable.

Next up though I've got my good dependable Pratchett, who often fails to be funny, but as one of those fan-things, I go on without complaining, mostly (A)

Live8 on Saturday, going to be a major energy killer. Must drink no water in the hour simmediatly preceeding it, finding a convenient relief place amongst 125,000 people shall probably not be a wonderful experience. Only going to use up about 12 hours anyway ^_^ Can't wait though, especially after my poor Oxford trip got washed out. Can't mind the weather though, the flat's finally hit 25 degrees, and it's lovely.

Phir raat kati from Paheli has me in a spin, I can't stop imagining the silly little puppet dance at the end. The movie may not have been all tha good, but the song makes up for it, really, in some strange undefinable way. Piyu bole from parineeta is my current sweet song, awwww...

Must stop allowing music to influence me in such strange way, *mutter*
PEAS!
out...

One for the Shallow Side

2005-06-22T22:04:00.000+01:00

Blog writing has become much like writing exam answers. The night before you know everything you need to know, while at the same time fairly sure you know nothing. Come morning you have such a rough jumble of things in a groggy head fresh from Charmed, putting down anything remotely resembling a structured thought pattern would far exceed the self-imposed miniscule time limit before the heat makes this laptops current usage position unbearably uncomfortable.

Is that better? Was that really better than saying the same thing in an 8-word sentence? I've grown to enjoy reading my blog once every year, just to see what sort of changes might be visible. And there's a remarkable consistency where I find I've written about the same thing in slightly different ways. But at the same time there's a large degree of contradiction. Views firmly held at one point found to be shallow and meaningless at another. Jumping around spitting with venom at the hypocrisy seen in the world, I cover my own under the thin veil of split personalities and flexibility. Were I to preach anything, I might have to hate myself. I is probably my most used word, but that's justified because this is my blog, and mine alone. My thoughts, open to no one who may wish to criticise them, or judge me for them. My blog, though, is forever an illusion. You can have a diary, or a private journal open to nobody. Here, in an open medium, to believe you write freely is self-deception, yet the revolution around I a strain of vanity not seen in the spoken world.

If I were to write based on facts, or to base my cynicism or hopes or professed views or disgust with life on specific events from my own life, then it would be more about my life, and in some skewed manner, a way in which those too far can follow what goes on. But I lack such structure, especially here. It weakens my views, analyses of life based on empty observation with no specific target. There is however the fear that if it were targeted, a concentration of emotion to any one structure might destroy that flexibility.

Ah, hahahahaha! What a lot of useless prattle. It took a 5 minute stare at the TV to lose whatever train of thought I was on. How dedicated I am...

For the sake of memory, because some late night or the other, I thought this would be a good idea, I should in fact get around to the subject matter. The book I'm reading has so many spelling mistakes, and it's by Raymond Feist, hmph. Somehow a life of leisure doing much of nothing overly physically active remains very fulfilling. And I finally received my Live8 tickets in the mail yesterday. But if I tilt my head just the slightest, I can shatter this illusion and see life for what it really is. Hogswaddle. No I can't. If I tilt my head a lot, turn it over, and make it spin (:p), I'll see things are wrong where they aren't. Life is good, but it's unjust, such is its way. More often than not, it is good for me, but that doesn't mean it is so for all. Ambition is a concept strange to the farmer who toils under the hot sun making just enough to feed his family. "The beggar by the river bank has that security kings can only dream of".

What's fashionable is to pick apart life before anyone who'll watch you do it. To drown in self-pity because all that there is in this world is happiness for those that are too stupid to see the true pain and ugliness, while those of use blessed with intelligence shall forever remain in a state of despair as we view the hurt and pain, the unending toil for nothing greater than a days meal while others work so much less for theirs. Then there are those even more intelligent, who look to their social equals, down their noses, with contempt. For how can they find happiness in this land, with their monotonous lifestyles, single-dimensional goals and... and... oblivious, something, outlooks... blergh.

While copying a lifestyle on disdains is perhaps not the most beneficial way to get by, nor is a life spent puzzling over mysteries impossible to solve and criticisms impossible to come to terms with. No matter how you choose to live it, dropping just a degree of vanity would enable some aspect of life to appeal in a manner that makes it bearable, perhaps enjoyable. Sifting through miles of blogs and journals over the last two years has shown a large number of people with the same complaints. But such birds shall never flock together, for they shun society and its flaws, considering only a select few capable of reaching their high standards. Misery loves company, and together they sit and ponder over the inequities. The worst part, though, is how they feel the same small joys yet refuse to accept them, because the wallowing in hopelessness has gone on so long, and fills with such a sense of hollow superiority, that to break free is near impossible. Long enough conversations can convince those less staunch that there is something wonderful "out there", others simply closed to such a possibility beyond the company of the intellectual elite. The elite though, is dispersed. Better to be happy with a mask of stupidity than miserable with you fishing line in an ocean inhabited by fewer fish than are good programmes on terrestrial television.

To be sure, I have often vacillated between both positions. Most often when alone with my thoughts, with my head balanced on the palm of a hand and my eyes swirling in their sockets. At other times it's simply too tiring. I'll never be consistent. Hence I'll never be able to pen thoughts in the bitter harsh manner of those who see life for what it truly is, nor shall I ever recount every detail of my life that fills my little heart with more joy than it can hold, for fear the overflowing cup might shatter. Tis not hypocrisy. At times it might be confusion. But for the most part, it's a mixture of acceptance, and acceptance again. Acceptance that life does, in fact, suck, and yet is also, the most wondrous thing, and to waste it in contemplation is to miss out on so much. No code will ever apply to everyone. Swinging around, ignorance is bliss, but ignorance can be created. E471 is a preservative with possible traces of animal substances, often derived from pigs. That ties in.

Swimming in the shallow side is sweet. The deep side of the pool is an adventure, but without those inflatable arm bands, if you stop kicking you might go down, and at any rate, you'll never touch the ground.

And I'll never know whom I'm talking to, but it's a sweet feeling nonetheless. Now that it's said, maybe I can think about something else ^_^

Dreaming of planes and trains

2005-06-12T20:22:00.000+01:00

*Whistle*
Boarding now, tickests please!
Not like another day would have made a difference.
I shall go to Blockbusters and rent a movie.
All that matters is that
I am a free man
Whatever that means
Oh
yeah
and
I
am
back

As long as there'll be music we'll be coming back agaaaaaaaaaaain
*fireworks*
Exciting, Exhilirating, Love the colour

Sup life's Whack sup!

2005-05-17T05:42:00.000+01:00

International monetary cooperation is like passionate love. It's great hwile it lasts but is impossible to maintain.

Monarchy is like a ship. It runs along just fine until some bumbling captain runs it into the docks. Democracy is like a raft. It stays afloat, but dammit, your feet are always wet.

This is what my hard work teaches me. yay.

At least Europe is turning from hopeless to hopeful once again in its typical yo-yo style of life.

I look for inspiration but all I see is papers. Papers. PAPE-EGH!
As would be said (A)

Oh I should go. I'd walk off in a hmph but other than my rather flamboyant Feather pen, there's just nothing huffy about this.

Kind regards,
User of teh Ambiguous Grammatical Formulations.

My teach hath never complimented me so vunderfully ;)

A Man's Reach must always Exceed his Grasp

2005-05-13T19:52:00.000+01:00

All together now, you can do it now. And a part of you will always be with meeeeeee...

Weigh the pros and cons
Always bring up any conceivable opposition to any proposals
Set clear well-defined targets
Link coordination plan and structure.

Less than 2 weeks, to turn my life around. Or begin steering in any case ;)

And now for classic Charmed!
Ayeee! It's Friday the 13th *wail like a Banshee*

To put it in a nutShell

2005-05-11T03:33:00.000+01:00

To stare down at the world from the heights of corporate glory was intoxicating.

The world has in store more humble pursuits for those that would weild power too great for it.

If, when all that mattered has come to an end, and all you desired has come to naught, do you despair or reevaluate, facing the realisation that all you did covet was life itself.

In that instance, between the moment of truth and the feat of strength, when the very world stands still around you and even time dares not breathe, your only true companion through the ordeal is sleep.
I wonder if that should've been instant ::) Poetic license, Nerr nerrnyah! :p

Those last thoughts before you fall asleep. Counting the sheep. Watching your day. Living a world that could never be. And finally shutting down your faculties such that the slightest thought causes your head to pound. That final moment before you go to sleep. That is the moment I need to know. And that is the moment that shall be my key.

Dis-Claimer

2005-05-08T19:42:00.000+01:00

This blog, owing to the openness of its nature, is in fact not a compilation of any sort of secrets Sindy may have, whatsoever. In fact, it should be well assumed that Sindy leads a life of no secrets worth sharing in any case, and all events posted within are highly exaggerated versions of the mundane happenings of a fictional characters daily life.

As such, any that do know the real Clawford are requested not to infer the presence of some tragedy due to the general flow of writing here-within, and to simply accept it as an expression of somewhat random thoughts and stress-relief.

Owing to constraints upon myself, I shall have to somewhat subtley do that thing that I wanted to do slightly more publicly. Anony requests pah! Have a good one <_<

The Devil is in the Details

2005-05-04T17:45:00.000+01:00

It is not ambition we are short of. It is the will to put in the effort that sets us apart.

... and I wonder if this blog is anywhere near a faithful representation of my personality, a confusion fast countered by the overwhelming conflict within my personality to actually be defined as any one still thing. But in so much as I can comprehend, it is not a deviant as much as it comes from a merger of the four, without any clear dominance by any, other than the sever subjugation of the physical.

And it is my shadow that scares me the most, that which is nought but a projection of myself.

Though upon that one could always wonder about the fear factor embodied by a reflection. Shadows in the dark can make one jumpy. Reflections unexpected can make one-two-nought.

Trying to be someone you're not and not trying to be who you are

2005-04-28T23:17:00.000+01:00

Man does not have the power to craft his own destiny, but he does have the power to fulfill it.
And the evil amongst us makes heroes of those that are.

Forgive him for he knows not what he does

2005-04-28T19:42:00.000+01:00

...and there's only so long I can keep believing there's some greater depth to all this.

Asi Supmante Wah BOOM!

2005-04-27T20:22:00.000+01:00

Pah! Policy Shift, high gear reverse SCREEEECH!

Bah. Ok Contemplative, thoughtful, intense sagely stare of infinite wisdom has been turned into that most hideous of plagues of me being interested in the girl where my general stare direction lay! Phaw. Curses. Maybe if I try a reverse flirty persona I might be able to get out of it ^_^ Or end up deeper in trouble. :-D
In any case, the insanity is catching. The changes, the turbulence, the bubbling of undercurrents threatening to pull me under and shoot me through a whales spout.

We played an interesting dare-related card game tomorrow anyway. No. I mean yesterday. Mine wasn't so bad. Zany and Mike had to crawl through the whole Brunch Bowl! *cackle*

Ow my arm. WHY am I still home? And why did I have a chicken burger for breakfast? :-/

Hush little baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna buy you a Mockingbird
If that mockingbird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring
...

Isn't it ironic?

2005-04-26T20:45:00.000+01:00

Irony. Wonderful. Gripping. And absolutely out of my grasp. But we live those little moments and when your entire life is an ironic little tale of twisted half-truths and deceived relationships, understanding the application of a word is only secondary, tertiary, irrelevant. Live it.

A person isn't who they are in their last conversation with you, it's who they've been throughout the relationship.
I'd say it's a shame how many of those last conversations become last conversations, but then I'm just not really into dwelling on the smaes and shams of life today.

Two Assessment Centres coming up, Ford and Shell. And a review of the Oil industry kept me from class. Gain or loss, who knows.

You're living a lie kept buzzing around my head till late last night. While conceivably a repercussion of its appearance in my Smallville fiesta, I found it disconcerting nonetheless. Perhaps I'm finally at the stage where I try a new personality. To be honest (a rarity to be sure in all matters pertaining to the self) I have grown tired of the flow of things and the charms and rewards of this particular mode of living. And a rather extreme self analysis revealed that I'll never be able to reach even half of my potential given my current structure. Depends upon who you look to for inspiration. I always keep my core anyway, and a new periphery might be a welcome change. Cold, cruel, distant, snake-eyed. Aloof. Maybe not so much cruel as I would like to be shelled in and out. Though I've always been distant, most of all from myself. But if I can't be the hero, might as well try my hand at the other side of the coin.

Entering info has become slow here. Strangers stare. Glorious.
*snap*
...and we transform, humble as ever.

Cliffnotes Version

2005-04-25T22:06:00.000+01:00

How could you do it? How could you lie to your family and friends, those you love and hate. How could you lie to your mother your brother your critics your fans? How could you lie to the world and not bat an eyelid, yet most of all, how could you lie to yourself?
It's easy when you know how.

What's the difference between a decision made and a decision taken? And where does there lie more guilt and more burden? And is to know truly to understand? And then is to understand truly to believe? What twisted circles there be are circles only for the sake of continuity, and nought else.

A dull ache in the left arm. The crushing feeling of missing a lecture because of Smallville. The depressing realisation of normality. The inevitable resignation to destiny, to fate.

And this is not the promised dedication, but a short step away. And what character of the world would you most relate to? A wasted weekend and lost Scrabble. But our essence is not in out words but there where it is invisible. And we say the queue grows ever long, and to our duties do we now drag ourselves. The Brunch Bowl la cucuracha!

Shake yoru head, rattle rattle rattle! Such selfishness is a glorious demise ^_^

Wherein the Title Exceeds the Content of the Entry...

2005-04-22T17:27:00.000+01:00

Sherry's back!
Uni Sux!

What's in a name? As a subject, I'm variable

2005-04-12T04:13:00.000+01:00

The gender gaffe
SIR – As an intelligent, professional woman, I find the outcry against Harvard's president, Larry Summers, despicable (“Harvard's disgrace”, March 19th). Women are quick to say that men are pigs, unfaithful and can't ask for directions when driving; they take glee in findings that prove men are more prone to mental retardation, infant mortality and adolescent immaturity and are quick to crow about women's higher pain-thresholds and greater ability to multi-task (as if this proves that women are the stronger sex). But when Mr Summers merely hints that women may be less accomplished in some areas, he is automatically branded a sexist. The same people who protest against his comments are poorly-disguised fascists and, like the women's lib bra-burners of the sixties, have become facsimiles of the men they profess to despise.
Amanda Vermeulen
Johannesburg

Yay, the last word on feminism that I completely don't get as a concept but respect as an ideological expression!
Ok so not the last word, but it does stand up as a highly relevant specimen of curiosity inversion by an angle so acute it's obtuse. I'm not a maths major, how dare you! phaw!

No and we don't, sit watching episodes of Charmed all day, of demons and witches where does the fascination lie? In rhyming spells and balls of fire, vanquishing all in the name of truth, justice and the American way! K maybe not the last, *sulk*
In all reality, we spend much time worrying of the future, exams that must come, and other such anomalies that disturb us be not the better to write than say, and be not ehard so much as felt. Touch my aura, prick your finger, sleep and wait for thine prince. I'd cackle but then I'd need a tictac :-(

I like long flowing dresses. Said with a feeling of regret as the summer comes and the dresses fall apart to reveal, overpriced pieces of cloth. I wonder how large the discount on the bridal dress worn by Diana in HumTum was (A)
Ooh ooh, Hitchikers guide to the galaxy movie out soon, tragic that it's rated 15. Have I had this conversation before? Who am I talking to?! But now sis can't go see it. Tragic, as mentioned before, only this time there's more emphasis. Tragedy!
Also, Sin City, yay! I must re-assert my worries about the exams now. Really I do worry. Even now I've got windows open with Stiglitz ctiriques. Print away, dance puppets dance! I shall soon write a post dedicated to all my wonderful friendz. I shall also soon write one on vanity, for I owe it so, and just as conceivably shall I arrange for my round-the-world cruise. All withing a paltry budget of what a swing dance in the coco bongo will get you!

And now, in the name of lost memories, and charity-ransacked cartoon videos;

Hey Big Guy, you are my kind of Hero
Hey Big Guy, you are my Numbah One!
Hey Big Guy, I love the way you do the things you do!
Hey Big Guy, You Are My Number WUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
<3>

Four and Twenty Blackbirds

2005-04-08T01:46:00.000+01:00

We are at a , wossname, impasse.
Our ability to communicate has faltered.
The fire alarms ring, and drive what thoughts could creep in, out.
This is not poetry, it's frustration.
Moments of blank despair, where when the reflection falls the image is bare.
Ha!
We fight invisible ghosts, and praise invisible hands.
We are split, united, tied, entwined, divine.
So childish, so lost.
Speak, dammit, say your piece and be done with it.
Nothing really matters, a song, a line, a fact.
We are, now, entranced by our own inability to entrance.
For a moment of blockade, vanity was suggested.
We are not blocked, not empty but congested.
Speak not of work, not jobs nor exams, but speak not of them and there is nought to speak of.
Why?
How are you?
Don't ask, if there is nothing more to say.
Keep thy head above the water, it shall all pass.
Of what use are we, when there is no audience.
Of what good are we, when there is no cause.
Of what... phaw.
I know why we blog.
From the shadows before I'm stifled I can tell you.
Because we need to get out.
Tear the flesh and be one with the void.
He lies.
It's not that, it's for our sanity.
Yes, Precioussssssssssssss.
We are no better.
We are mortal.
We are, what we are, but of that there are others.
So harsh, ah, so harsh, so true.
Oysters, pearls, grains of sand.
Macabre thoughts and blood on walls.
Token genius, be our fall.
There is no aim, no dream for us.
A trodden path we see always.
Run away, and it's been done.
We are an individuality.
We are unique.
And we have, for thy envy, no more remorse.
Fear, yes.
Pity, perhaps.
But the end, the glorious end, we want it not.
For we live in hope.
There is something there, that when we meet.
Shall fill the grave with no body beneath.
Till then, help them smile.
Cheese, say, flash, print.
It hurts us.
I want...

Oh buggerit buggerit buggerit.
Give the world an enema.
Relish, mallevolence.
Ah-Ha-ha
How long can we balance the scales, hmmmmmmmmm.
Say it, judge me, and be your own undoing.

Ooh Heaven's a Place on Earth

2005-04-06T21:52:00.000+01:00

Kash used to say,don't start a story from the beginning. Start from the middle, a shock moment, and wind out from there. As a technique, it worked wonderfully. But in some ways fairy tales remained superior. How can you beat that classic start anyway? And so, one day the tale that will be...

Once upon a time there was man. He was lord of the skies and the seas. Every land he conquered, he pillaged. And the Earth threw up all her bounty, for her beloved to consume with insaitable greed. And he gnawed her very bones, removing every last scrap before sucking out the marrow. And the lands that were once a part of them, were now pictures of their downfall. Until one day the sound rang out, shattering the very fabric of their existence. And they were no more. The End.

Ahh, perhaps a little dramatic, but an end nonetheless. All religions do believe in the existence of some sort of end. A heaven, or a Nirvana. Eternal joy, eternal happiness. It's worrying where your thoughts might escape too in those restless moments of hours-long shut-eye but no sleep. What's the promise? No pain, no fear, no sadness. Question. How do you measure happiness without something to measure it up against. What do you do when the chance of failing leaves. What envy there can be of those in a better place must eventually leave. After all, eternity is an awfully long time. And with nothing to accomplish how long can the life of the idle rich please?

Well yes, anything is better than the torment of hell-fire. But while that is rife with elaborate details of how unbearable it shall be, Heaven is a place of endless bliss with rivers of milk and wonders unimaginable. I dunno, this be no time for a conclusion, but what might be a sketchy one at best leaves a couple of options. Either the human psyche will need to be tweaked or have a missing sprocket replaced. Or we've not been told something. Personally I prefer the latter.

Then again, I'd prefer not being woken up at 1 30 after having slept just an hour ago with a splitting headache, only to spend the next 2 hours awake and then dreaming of demons and telekinesis. ^_^

Ooh heaven is a place on earth, phaw!
*Makes like a banana and splits*`Wheeeeeeeee (A)

A part of which world dotdotdot

2005-03-30T00:31:00.001+01:00

I'm laughing, only on the outside
My grin is only skin-deep
If you could share with me my thoughts for but a moment
Perhaps you'd join me, for a weep

So what's interesting about that? Perhaps two things. One that the very moment I finished typing it my MP3 player ran out of power. And two, that it isn't by me, and is just slightly modified in the way that I best remembered it. Tell me, have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?

On Purple Clouds

A thin line appears, that seems to spread across my field of vision. It's followed by hazy purple clouds, before there is nothing left but darkness. Perhaps not the most horrific of images, unless it happens to be on your most precious laptop. The machine that has so faithfully served me since June 2002, the end of my college-era, has finally fallen. An msn conversation early last week erupted into these clouds that would hound my dreams for a long long while. I did manage to exert all my powers to retrieve the many precious pictures I had on a single disc, but the documents are lost. Please remove your hats, place them on thy hearts, and mourn with me for a while.

On Blogging

If one were to, say, imagine every post as bait. Then that "prized" position of first poster would be the fish that leads them all to their doom. And every comment would be paying homage to the skill of the fisherman. But we don't see it as such. What we see it as is us, them, and them so much more sure, in themselves, then we are in us. Or do we just see through it all, like another face on the underground. A week of no typing has made my fingers stiff.

On Advertising

The tube seems to be a place most perfect for such items. For in recent news I have learnt of a 35 pound all inclusive trip to Alton Towers, and the existence of free air guitars for every customer at Madam Tussauds. We like our ads, those that are well made. Perhaps that's why we applied there, and yet were not suited to a life such as that. Sin City out June 3rd. How do I know?

On Thoughts

Why start every portion with "the"? So I use a pointless sentence like the last one to change my monotony. Pathetic. And the best thoughts always come so late at night. In bed. Those that I would most like to store. When I sit here, it is just dim memories of my plan that I put down. All this was meant to be separate posts. But now I squiggle them together out of impatience.

On Eyelashes

They fall off now and again. Do you blow them off a fingertip and make a wish? Because I do, for though I believe not that they shall make my wishes come true, it still feels good, and I have no reason to believe I shall not be lucky once more.

On Sleeping

It is said, by those who know such things, that the position in which we lay ourselves down to sleep speaks volumes with regards to our inner-selves. Perhaps, for originally I was one who favoured the curl, and now prefer more of an "h" shape. I don't know what this means, maybe I don't even care. But it's a thought, so it lives, and I give it flesh. Skin, helps keep our insides, in!

On Friendship

One person to whom I owe a lot is Sherry, and I suppose what makes it easier to say is that he doesn't read this. Not that those girls as provided their support and friendship were not wonderful, but he has always been a slice of home. And now, three years on, when I see how many stayed in touch, and what slim lines we balanced on, I wonder how deeply I might have lost myself if there was not something so real from my past to keep me grounded in whatever reality I have created for myself. My distatste for these foreign lands is complete, as the sun sets I realise I am a creature of the night not as one that loves it but as one that finds solace yet solitude in it. For their lives and mine shall never be one. And of the others that have remained, some of whom read and others that do not, I shall never offer my gratitude for that is too nice, but a nod in your direction visible or not.

On Cricket

We won we won, yay yay yay!

On the Weekend

So it was that the Easter Weekend came to pass, and we went not to Paris as the plan originally stood. Instead, those finances as existed for the tunnel hop went to the Zee Cine Awards, which was if nothing else, a real experience. Unfortunately I discovered I have a deep level of disgust for desi's as well, so instead I shall just generalise and say I hate all people except for the people I don't hate, and I cover my hatred with sugar to remain friendly on the surface until someone gets too close and accidentally rubs it off. Oh but I'm never angry nor rude, for it is more like keeping your hand over a kettle as the water boils aways, first clammy, and then scalding... scorching I prefer. The awards themselves, ignoring the audience, were somewhat fun, somewhat not. Watching our dear Pakistani Representetives march up there and make utter fools of themselves, and geez Reema was awful, yes that was... humorous yet devastating. The only person I could really show off to was Fahad, and yet he knows everything before I tell him, so as soon as I mentioned I had something to show off about he knew where I had been. Phaw.

On Cousins

I have a new one, the mamoo in Sweden finally deciding to enter the wonderful world of parenthood. Girl. Samr/Samer/Summer, however they plan to spell it. Sweet, I suppose, but my relationships with all my cousins thus far have always been rather rocky. When you're two decades older than your cousin though, I suppose they'd be more distant than rocky anyway.

On Empathy

Just because we understand, doesn't always mean we know what to say. And when we know what needs to be said, we know not how to say it. It takes a great leap of courage, and oft now in this new world have I seen great friendhsips crumble under misplaced honest words. Perhaps it's the people. Perhaps twas the foundations that were a lie. But now we listen, we understand, we nod and we smile. And we let our eyes talk for those that would listen, and our tongue is barred from causing more pain than is needed. It is not necessary, to test every boundary, lest it break.

On Fashion

It struck me only recently how I can see thousands of people in the same day, and never will I see one wearing the same thing I wear. Just slightly less remote are the chances of seeing any two people wearing the same thing within a space of 10 metres. Usually much more. There's only so many different clothes. The variation in tastes is amazing. And yet there is that I can admire, and so much I can't. When the American came and was shocked by what we wore, for we wore "normal" clothes, jeans and proper tops, that wasn't right, at least for Purdue. There they come in shorts and a vest to lectures. Thanks the Lord I didn't go there, yet I do want to go work in America at some point. Subtle differences might be all one needs.

On Subtle Inflections

How. We. See. Only. Whats. Not. There. And. Miss. Whats. Here.
?!
There was an odd style in an article or two of our Aitchisionian. Wotsits?
:-/

On The Knights Templar

While a large-ish amount of study on the matter completely piked my interest, the book I grabbed from an accquaintance has been rather difficult to read. Working more like a history book, while many of its offered insights are truly remarkable, I keep falling asleep while reading it. Oh but if historians could write well the world would be a more pleasing place. Or even conspiracy theorists for that matter.

On a Lifetime

Which is never enough. There is so much to see. So much to do. So much to learn. I envy those who know, by now, so much more than I do. And yet we've all lived equal amounts and for every speck of knowledge I don't have, I know something they do not. Was reading LOTR twice, and watching the same movies over and over again a waste of precious time? Perhaps. How about those hours spent sleeping, when many would argue that only 6 is enough. Does it really give me that extra energy? Perhaps, again. I wish I knew more. I wish I'd seen more. I'm happy and content, yet straining against those restraints I can neither see nor identify. Part of me wants to be a part of this world, to take it in. To understand what the people know. To be able to meld so freely in smoke-filled bars. Not the latter, no. Auras wrap around me and fill me with a gut-wrenching nausea whenever I am near a public house. Took me while to learn it's the real name for a pub and not a toilet anyway. So many lives. And you see so many. Walking by you, pushing by you. What do they all go home to? I'm satisfied now, but a part of me hopes, and this is a far more significant part, that when I die, I shall for a while at least, be able to roam the world freely, and take in all the nature that my prison of concrete does keep away from me. At least then. my worry about decent nearby showering facilities shall be somewhat diminished.

On Studying

Ashamed I am to admit it, but I liked being spoonfed. Finding miles of papers to read through hurts. And I grow bored so easily. A challenege, any challenge is good. But it is no challenge to read hundreds of papers, though they might prepare me for my ultimate challenge... again. Why am I here? I've wasted countless precious moments when I could have been reading on any number of economic theories. Yet my internet withdrawal for over a week, I didn't miss msn as such. I have recently found myself unable to focus on msn, losing the conversation thread sooner than it has begun. I hail no one, and just sit there, watching conversations die because I can't be motivated to push them forwards. And... they stop coming. So I'll keep in touch otherwise, but what keeps me from studying now is too many thoughts, too many hopes, and the loneliness of wrapping myself in a shell with paintings so dull that my eyelids fall of their own accord.

On the Blue Ninja

I find it fascinating how far this project has gone. For something that runs only in my mind, I have saved the world several times, and it plays in parts, almost like episodes. And as the character grew older and started to hit 40-something, was married and what not, I had to kill his wife... my own, I don't know. Technically I am myself supposed to be the Blue Ninja, with the most complete and intricate storyline ever, far off, yet unnamed places and characters. I've reset time, or a being has anyway. And now I'm in medieval times, aboard a ship, captain of that and another as we sail through perilous seas to enlist the aid of the elves to close the huge demon portal that was opened to save the world, and yet might cause more harm than good should they break free...

On Time

There's never enough. And maybe that's the best thing about it!

Das vadanya!

"Run, Forrest, Run!"

2005-03-23T00:46:00.000Z

-Random stranger as I rushed past towards the cinema to watch Constantine.

I like the sound of the wind rushing by.

University is over. Three years. So elitist. Observe the drunk snobbery. How does it end? 4 Aitchisionians wondering about the many odd aspects of the white-mans culture.

The same feeling of remorse as my last graduation? Nay.
A different one. As if I've missed something, but don't know what.

So blank, so empty. And 2 months for kick-ass hard work to ace the same exams, that as always, my entire future shall depend upon. It always come to this, precariously balanced upon the edge of ze knife... with a final round Shell interview on May 9th & 10th, exams on 25,27,1 and 10 and then hopefully off to Europe ASAP. Must watch Star Wars on release day.

And so it ends. Gawrsh.

Blade

2005-03-15T05:07:00.000Z

Dancing. Singing. Talent. Implicit. Explicit. Needed. Not. Waltz, one. Waltz, two. Swing, chairs, tables and grass. Umbrellas, large, pink, white. Cocktails, straws, tarantella, tango. Music. And how do you write music? Can you read music? Can you read music and hear it? Only 10% of what we say is what we convey. The idea that words mean so much without tone, nor psoture, without inflection nor reflection, without a mouth to say them and a tongue to roll those lovely Rs. But I like how the letters roll out. Spill onto my parchment to flow into words over which I have only a miniscule level of control. Words. Are all I have? No. I'm an animation. I can hold up a signboard to say what I want. And if I don't want another minute to go by then why do I sit here playing with collected thoughts from time gone by when corporations insist I write essays on their control of global economic policies. Because I live my life on the edge of a blade? Perilous. Hardly. Exciting. Only as much as I make it. Yeah, that's it. My blog. I can throw up all over it. My thoughts. Cut with them. Word will never hurt me. Cut the tension. Cut..cut..CUT!

glint

What blades can we speak of anyway. Faster than the speed of light. I'm energy. Though I still raise my hand and will objects to come hurtling towards me. Though I still believe in telekinesis and the force. Though I still believe that being human is too dull and my character of Blue Ninja (daftly named, uber cool) will live on forever. So I went to watch Hitch yesterday and found the trailer of Episode III amazingly gripping. Are you threatening me Master Jedi?

glint

What talk of blades is there anyway. What is synonymous with blades? I ask too many questions and yet pose so many as statements. Similies and metaphors, what difference is there between the sun and the moon for what I could compare to icy blue oceans is not that which I shall ascibe to a rose, so tender sweet like a steak plucked from a still beating heart, sealing the fate of the undead in the final throes of its existence, as delicate as a moth trapped wihting a lightbulb, blissful agony, sweet delirium, rivulets of bright, red, love.

glint

The sheer number of uses to which any blade can be put to has only come to my attention in the last year, give or take half of one. And though my thoughts are currently distracted, lost on stormy seas off the coast of Africa, gentle beats reminiscent of Enya, I still make my sad attempt to write on that which I know so much yet say so little. Those moments coming up in an elevator, silent, solitude. Wannabe by Spice Girls blaring in your MP3 player and the burst of laughter from your fellow occupants. Does it quite capture embarassment. Not when you've worn a t-shirt with a subtle message no one was able to catch all day. Sad, risky, and depressingly relieving.

glint

I s/i'd. Whay is s/i? Probably not the right reaction to such a claim. Where have you been as culture, tradition and teenage angst culminated in this most magnificent display of self-mutilation to justify all the internal torment. Self injury, the more politically correct would say. A physical manifestation of an emotional pain. Robin left to bleed from his wrist as the days went by and his merry men wondered. Count the cuts. The markings. Any blade will work. Will do. Razors. Scissors. Pencil tops, sharpeners, fragments of glass. I bleed now over that screen which holds me in. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cat scratches dear, why do you worry. Oh but for a cat of such mindless love. The perils of penelope pitstop. What's your ugly little secret. I know what blades do. How does it work? I couldn't understand. It flows, out. The evil, the rage, the wrath. It makes you fele better. So I learnt. So I consoled. You don't understand. No kidding. There was never anything there to understand. Drink away your sorrows today, and failing that let them flow. Hehe, and then eventually the demented hopeless cycle throws you away or drags you in. Forced acceptance. Forced rejection. Join the darkside or be taken. I'm not shelled. I just have nothing to share. I shrug and my palms are throw open upwards, bare. Split a hair, get out the way.

glint

Who invented the idea of moving on ice. You sit and propel yourself, can go wherever you want to. But to cut across its surface, to learn is to lose an inital fear of lost control. I never got blades in that way. How do you brake? There's no stopping. Oh but the analogies we could draw from roller blading. The similarities with life. Lives. Not ours always, but theirs. Life's everythign from a bag of peanuts to a grain of sand in an oyster shell. Philosophy is amusing that way. When there is no right or wrong, is it really what you say? Or how you say it?

glint

That particular colour is like blood really. After it's spilt. I don't even knows what drives my fascination for donning the persona of a vampire anymore. I know not much of their lives. Haven't even read Dracula. I suppose the little I do know allows me to build up my own fanciful image. Perhaps even from Blade. A Daywalker. That's what I am. Resistant to garlic, because I'm a pizza-loving vampire. There are some things you just fall into. I'm a vampire. And I'm adorned with a blade that represents more Asha'man than a cross to signify my counter-evil, but then who cares for such differences?

glint

It's marvellous how you can lead yourself to believe there is some greater, deeper meaning behind every utterance. Our ability to make vast sweeping statments like that, to believe we know better, to assume that mankind deceives itself because so our observation states, and that of countless others, is it truly our right. What if they're right. What if their delusions are what make them, and hence are real. Happiness is nothing more than a short memory. At least I can conveniently shift from elephant to stegasaurus. Envy me. And I know not whether I say that to you now, or to myself years from now.

glint

Maybe I had more to say. It's always a race against time. On blades, I can hardly use one. A letter opener from LOTR. I can't even shave right. Oh but some manly stubble helps dispel so much. Doesn't it? Shouldn't it? When they all smile at you, you smile back. No names. Just a grin. And that small sparkle. What can make a day, or a small flutter. They say a smile is uber powerful. Tears are stronger, but they won't tell you that. Don't poke the illusion. It's been a long long time since a non-fiction piece of mine made someone cry. A long reported time anyway. Is that really an aim. Maybe. Could be one of many. What remains my primary focus here is still a mystery, no? So it was well sweet, when, he, called. Oooh commas, whosa gonna correct me now? But somehow my Kith and Kids essay got back to him, only last week. While working on my presentation my phone rings and he tells me how it found its way to him. And brought a tear to his eyes. I've always found that solitary tear navigating its way down a face to be much more appealing. That's probably a mental note for myself. After all, I know what I want. A zigga-zig-Ah.

glint

In all honesty when I say glitn so often I forget what it means. A small shine? The dull sheen on a blade? A bright springle, hey pringle, pop it. But then, who cares huh, hmmm. We know what we wants. We wants to finish our essay, our preciousssssss.

Sssssssssssssssss'nikt!

'Nuff Said!

Of the Creepies and the Crawlies

2005-03-03T20:36:00.000Z

I figure that alongwith my rather poor grasp of different cloths and associated materials, I'm not very good at identifying various greens either. Any trip to Tescos remains mind boggling as you're assaulted by shelf upon shelf of greens and herbs, and even green spices which don't even include green chillies. I suppose coriander and lettuce have their subtle, or not so, differences. Of course my failings probably go deeper as in my last trip I managed to pick up blue fresh range eggs. I didn't even know it was possible to lay blue eggs, and for some reason nobody seems to want to eat them. They look like chicken eggs, probably just a severe case of depression.

But going back to the greens, what may or may not have been corriander was seen yesterday in a quarter plate looking remarkably like a lizard. And no ordinary lizard, a good Class A chipkali for which I would generally go dashing out the house to summon a hunter for quick and efficient disposal. Therefore, what folows is by no means a wave of nostalgia and fond memories of better days long gone by. Rather, it's a less than complete run through of what I had forgotten would be my greatest fear upon returning to Pakistan this summer.

Sliding the bolt shut, turn the key in its huge lock three times, no less. Attach the chain and make sure the main door is definitely secure. The four rather flimsy shutters on its side remain a source of worry, but then fashion has its costs. From there it would be on to pour some water and have that last drink before calling it a night, or at least before marching off upstairs after turning off all the lights. Oh but then I'd always forget to chain the laundry room. So there I'd go, reach for the chain and fall back a mile. Because oh lucky me there would always be something hiding behind the sliding doors. A shade of green that I imagine in all sorts of unlikely places now, and comparable to things we shan't mention in civilised conversation. Streaking, elegant... phaw! A mad dash would ensue to unfasten all the locks on either the back kitchen door or the main door and call my brave warrior, weilding his battle-weary jharoo like the mightiest sword, eyes darting from left to right in search of his wary prey. I suppose he enjoyed the hunt, though it was always part of the plan to catch and dispose, while I watched from a fair distance. Mafioso. Oh but the smarter ones could hide. Holes would appear to swallow them up and the battlefield would be left with the choking smell of insectide set to stun. There would always be something to lend victory to the warrior though, at the least a detached tail. Gah... horrible things they are. And only one of my return worries. Worse was when it would show up in my room or bathroom, causing it to turn into a restricted area until the enemy was neutralised. Sleeping with a potential slimer on the ceiling ready to drop is not an acceptable option. Occassionally defeat would mean bunking out in my mothers room on the sofa bed or one of the many guest rooms if a suitable temperature and bed linen could easily be assembled.
Yeah lizzie's were bad. But there's worse. Cockroaches. The hidden enemy that has forever put me off dates. The edible sort. Worse than the former. Killable, but never could I do it. The horrid squish. The possibility of failure due to the creautres resilience. And its ability to appear out of nowhere. Any nocturnal use of a room would only come after a complete search for crawlers, but roaches have a habit of coming where there were none in the first scan. But you know what makes them really bad. Ultra super bad. They can freakin FLY! Oh that's just the worst. Ever afraid of disturbing one should it try to zoom for the face. I remember once throwing a tissue box on top of one in desperation to buy the arriving Rescue Squad some time lest it run away. The whole box started to move! Oh tarnations. It's just the squishy squelchy really, and the possibility of failure. But in one way roaches are kind. I wouldn't spray them coz they can fly, but they're kind in the way that when they'e dead you know it. They conveniently belly-flop. An inverted one is a dead one, no matter how long its legs keep rattling.
The last enemy is one I can't remember too well. But you can hear it. In the night, when the lights are off, the chirping begins. Chirping. Hah! Chirping is what birds do. Supposedly a pleasant sound. Not when you hear it in a room at night. Not all fo them were grasshoppers. Marblehoppers. Long springs for back legs, able to leap whole slabs in a single bound. Killable. Sprayable. But egads what a squelcher they make. I don't like mots either. Whole load of creepers with wings. Ok so there's four of them. I can kill a moth, with a tissue box usually. Well if I could. It just keeps flying and diving and diving and flying.

Yeah well I am looking forward to coming/going back this summer. Just a few things I had forgotten. The later ones, the night ones. The vampires and werewolves of Lahore. Maybe I'm braver now. But keeping in mind my run in late last summer with a wasp and the ensuing fairly comic yet hardly courageous scenes, I somehow doubt the ability of certain characteristics to change. That said though, in other places outside of my own home, only roaches really bother me. The rest, not so much. Another plus point is witht he Japanese people now living on the lower half, and the intense levels of fumigation et all, the actual presence of creepy crawlies is really rare. But I can never let down my guard. Ever.

Because you never know.

Snowy

2005-03-01T21:17:00.000Z

Boys had trolls. Subtle difference from boys being trolls. But I remember back in Junior School you'd see the odd troll pop up during the exam season. Small olive-brown plastic dolls, with the bright, usually gaudy, perpetually messy Marge without a hairbrush style hair. I don't know how lucky they were, I never had one. My sister did, and I would often play with their hair, or at the least twirl them round using their hair. Purple, green, blue, teal... fascinating colours and a welcome addition to any bookshelf. But I never owned a troll. Perhaps just one of many things I missed having. Eventually nobody brought them to school anymore, probably hiding them away with the other skeletons in their closets.
What I don't have is boxes upon boxes of memories. The little things, the giant ones, all those companions during my prima-evolutionary stages. In small hidden dispatches, those objects that I thought I was done with would slowly reach my "toy chest". And the toy chest would never really fill up as the lower layers would conveniently find their way to the chosen orphanage of the season. Spring cleaning came far too often back then. Garage sales remain something of a mystery to me.
In what was an enviable collection of Transformers figures, along with a hardly dismissible array of heros from the worlds of Thudercats, Teenage Mutant Ninja/Hero Turtles and Batman/Spiderman to name a few... oh don't forget Buck O'Hare, I now retain just small scraps. A leg-less Venom, a broken arm from a terminator, lost kitanas found too late. Bags and bags are now a collection of "junk" on the bottom of the toychest. By now it must have gathered a friendly group of dust bunnies to keep it company, but there they'll stay because even some memories now are better than none.
Possibly.

There was something else that everyone had, other than trolls. And if everyone is used unfairly in discussions pertaining to troll ownership, it's no exaggeration when speaking of the current paragraphs focus. Everyone minus epsilon had, in some way or another, at some time or the other, given by a mother or a brother (ok scratch the last line!) a "soft toy". A cuddly? Or whatever general name one might have gifted to that range of childhood co-adventurers that inevitably included Mr.Teddy Bear. Of course I'm not being brand specific. I had a "Teddy", but was really never rather attached. The whole brown look kinda threw me off. No, my best friends were my monkey, who really wasn't all that soft, with a hard plastic face and hands and feet (the fingers and toes could be inserted into Mr.Monkeys nose/mouth/ears 8-)) and, of course, Snowy.
Other than Snowys more memorable distinguishing characteristics, it's probably important to highlight that he was my only softtoy that didn't end up with a name as original as Mr.Monkey or Mr.Bear (it was a predominantly male collection). My brothers equivalent was his large soft German Shepherd called Beethoven, received soon after the movie about the dog by the same name came out. But this isn't his story. And Snowy goes back a lot further.
As fate would have it, Snowy was in fact a bear. And a soft toy. But this was no ordinary bear. He was a polar bear! Pure white, and the softest most velvety feel, special I suppose because it wasn't velvet fur really. I'm not that good with materials, a failing I've long deemed to be one of my greatest, and yet one I shall probably never put enough effort into correcting. But he was white. And real. Not like those flimsy fictional teddies that could stand on two legs. He was on all four, shaped a bit like an igloo, and lusciously squishy. Obviously he had little beady black eyes, with slight shades of brown swimming in it. Not exactly an iris, unless an iris could just fade in and out of the pupil. And a soft, only barely hard brown nose. That was surely velvety on the top, not some horrible plastic. And you could press it in, turn his whole face into his body, and end up with a sort of tortoise-come-polar bear. I might have even though a decapitated polar bear, but I'm not sure about how sadistic I was as a child, and do remember my despair when once I had trouble getting his face back out again.
Snowy was old though. I have some vague dim memory of a rather large store stuffed with soft toys (reminding me that they were known as stuffed toys as well) in which either I picked him or he was picked for me. He travelled a fair bit with me though. I rarely actually slept while holding onto a soft toy, and would more often engage him in battles with other figures. Sometimes if I were cold though, and many a cold winter night there were, he would be warmer than a bed that had not been used all day.
I suppose it's funny. Depends on the angle. Eventually, after dragging him across the world and to the drawer under the bed in Lahore, his significance started to fade. Maybe around the same time that the trolls vanished in school. He'd be taken out now and again. His fur would be grey at times, but nothing a washing machine cycle couldn't fix. I was, and probably never will be big on pets. But his fluffed up post wash fur might have been similar to what any four legged animal would've looked like.
There's no real reason to even remember him now. He's gone, that much I know. I hope he actually found his way to someone that might've looked after him. What might have been physical manifestations of "memories", I have few bordering on none of. Maybe that's why I wear the ring around my neck every day even after my obsession with Lotr has faded. Maybe that's why I wear my leather wrist band even to an interview where I doubt it went down well. Maybe, though in no way certainly because it's just more of an "image" now and I have no concrete reasons for doing what I do. Just as maybe though, I might be able to attach memories to these items that are not essential now, like the watch I wore from my 13th to my 19th birthday. That's my Teen G-Shock. Maybe it's not really childhood memories, and then memories are things you don't forget anyway, but at least I have things I can look back on. Is that useful? Not in any real way. But maybe decades from now, if I can hang onto it all, it might be.
Maybe.

The snow is beautiful now. It took its time to start falling, but it falls now. Like the wind has blown through a field of dandelions, and none settle on the ground, swirling magnificently in the air and under street lights. It's snowy.

Every now and then I fall apart...

2005-02-26T22:15:00.000Z

And yet if I were a humpty dumpty, I'd know how to put myself back together again. All the kings men and their horses, I'd need them never. The last fortnight has been fairly eventful. And now here I am, in the weekend zone. To sum it up, provide some skewed outlook on everything. But when all you're waiting for is your brother to let you get in the shower, it allows you to think about everything in a nice closed box.
My future is inevitable...
If there were only one thing I'd think of highlighting in the short span of time I've currently stolen for myself, it would inevitably have to focus on the thief in the tube. Of course I must be careful in how I put this forward since one of my readers was actually there, so I can't exaggerate... (too much (A))
We was on the train on our way home from watching Black (oh by the way that was brilliant, Hellen Keller remake with large post-water deviation and Ran, Amitabh and the little girl were stupendous {As in splendid and not stupid :-/}) when we noticed this suspicious looking dude board the train and hang around the pole. S was sitting to my left with her purse on the seat between us (really, who does keep a purse on an empty seat 8-)), and she started insisting I pick it up. The train was kinda stopped there for a rather long time, but I didn't pick the purse. Well I asked for a tissue, and thought she'd take it out from there, but she pulled out a Baskin Robbins one from somewhere else! And then just as the train doors were closing, Susp.Dude grabbed for the bag and jumped out.
My first real thief encounter! ^_^ Oh wait but we can rewind to the bit where he grabbed, the bag lifted less than 5cm off the seat and I snatched it back and then waved and smiled to the loser as we sped past... but that's just not relevant, is it (A)
What else has happened in the last two weeks, oh but if only I had the time to smother thee with them boorish details.. whatever a boorish detail may be 8-)

In brief *giggle*:

I did choreograph a bitsy bit of the international fashion show, though they changed the whole song when I didn't show up (phaw)
I starred as the silent invisible canned laughter cue holder for the audience in the Pakistani skit... and the people loved me. Especially the Vietnamese straw hat dancer (that was a cool show anyway, but I never showed me face ^_^)
I put my team mostly on track for the LIMUN event, though Sher and Far both dropped out after the first day. Bah, the next two days were absolutely brilliant! So that the boat party was actually the worst bit... surrounded by mad drunkedness... oh ze thrill of it all ;)
I set up the Student action for Refugees (*STAR*) society, ran their elections, and am so not proud (A)
I had my 3M interview (which I'll probably have screwed up, c'est la vie)
Got my Shell interview date
Went for a street theatre to raise moolah for charity, but was ill, it snowed, I bailed.
Missed my Ecuador banana policy presentation due to extreme tube failures :-(
Got assigned a student shadowing
Arranged Language bank volunteer replacement
Got assigned an email-a-student kiddo
Saw Black, Collateral, Punisher, and The edge of Reason (finally!)
Am currently listening to Doctor Jones by Aqua on tv! ^)^
Went to the Modern Dance show in LSE, loved it, and really wish I'd known about it to take part :(
Past papers-Office hours-academic hoo haa, but really not that bad :-)
Played Pool for the first time since way back at Adeels house (and won!)
Oh and there was the thief 8-)

... And I guess there was other stuff I really cannae remember right now.
Any corrections to my illusional delusional worl are not welcome :p

Right then, I shall now move on towards this weekends schedule of two job apps, several readings, and going to Central London with ze family. Rah rah rah.. and I want a pom, another one, and a prom.

Das vadanya.

P.S. Salsa is a very feely feely, touchy touchy, very very icky icky dance!
So there, nyah! ^_^

Tarantella is as far from Trantula as the chances of finding a familiar gleam in someones eyes 8-)

2005-02-17T19:00:00.000Z

But if I know you
I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
The way you did once
Upon a dreeeeam ^_^

10 minutes to class. *drumroll*

Aww and my music just finished :( Tarantella is a great waltzy thing from the Godfather, I wish I could do one of those twirly dances, but learning them needs someone to learn with and then there's the discomfort or stranger, and stranger more discomforterable... someday though, si si ci.

Heaven knows I'm miserable now. Hell knows why.

It's a good screen name, though I stole half of it :p I shall adopt it soon. Nothing special. Gonna buy a suit today. Yup yup. And within the next three days shall have worn a suit more times than ever before in my life.

Had this odd dreams where people from scrubs were classmates, dragged me off to a Citigroup interview, which actually turned into a drama audition. Luckily, Citigroup now believes acting skills are crucial for investment bankers so acceptance came easy :)

Web messenger is a task to use.

*yawn*

Oh I'm in all black today! I like dressing in all black. Makes me feel I'm wearing a jump suit, or maybe I'm a ninja warrior. Have a skitty thing in the global show tonight. Plussy got to get to work on the STAR stall today. I feel ill. My MUN is a disaster, still.

woe is me.

I'm such a girl.
I think I need a haircut.
Seventeen leagues and I know I've got my soul now.

Does the last line make it look like cheesy lyrics rather than whacked admissions? :-x

I don't wanna go to class. I'm posting in a state of existential angst. hehehe.
I'm really still in bed. Dreaming. Wild flowers
close your eyes.
what do you see?

I see... hreen jills, and a boy on the rop. fluong a kite. There;s a small white dog. narking. and.. a gollum. raining. a boeing .

Yaya.. and that's my typing with my eyes closed on stiff uni keyboards. my fingers hurt. And yay it's 11. Off to comparative econ then. Transition was coz of blah blah blah. least i missed the corruption lec. good/bad. i dunno.

Kill me! kill me now!

Understandable; Comprehensible; Not a bit Reprehensible

2005-02-14T18:50:00.000Z

Happy saint Valentines Day ^_^

Merry prayers and meditations to y'all!

Das vadanya!
{My spelling has been corrected to conform <_< }

Who gonna stop you when you have them entranced?

2005-02-12T22:46:00.000Z

Dean Martin makes me want to go to Italy.

Faroff places, Daring sword-fights, Magic spells and a Prince in Disguise!

2005-02-11T22:35:00.000Z

Bob's your uncle :p

In the jungle, the mighty jungle! I need to do more stuff. I really wanna do a play, I have so many ideas for them. But the problem is that there's only 5 weeks of term left, and I lack the human/financial resources for it. I also feel somewhere between burnt out and under-utilised. There's so much I want to do, could do, but can't due to a severe lack of the correct factors/people/circumstances/shared ambitions/energy levels, etc etc etc.

I'm hungry. Physically as well.

I'll go sing MJ songs then hmm. Annie are you ok? are you ok annie? annie are you ok, are you ok annie!

Boat party was odd. Odd. Too much like a wedding, got better, and think I was only mildly anti-social with one person. I'm getting to grips with it, though it leaves me rather unsteady at times. phaw.

Bored. I'm bored. Funny. Was pondering on the possibility of boredom yesterday when the song came my way. Nothing can stop me from doing what I want to do. But it's just not fun unles sI do it MY way. and my way isnt always the easiest way. Blow the roof off, bang bada bing bada boom.

My heads gonna fall off.
Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated.

Ma-i-u-ae

2005-02-08T19:06:00.002Z

Buggerit buggerit buggerit and oops!
Missed my class throwing my daily schedule into a mess. Will go for the sub class an hour later, starts at 12, but now I'll not be finishing them mails I need to from 11-12, and miss my chance to explain my dismal performance in a recent Industrial Econ assignment to my teach for that class before I have to walk into it 8-)

So I'm still sat at home, with no better excuse for being late than my brother making it so <_<>

Anyone got ideas for a good song selection for the Pakistan Society Boat Party? I'm recording a CD in the vain/vane/wane/wayne... bruce wayne.. *Cough* yeah hope, that they'll let me pop it in and not subject me to 3 hours of inescapable suffocating R&B! Really like the song in the title, it's so relaxing, keep it on repeat most of the time :-)

Recent McFlurry, for a limited time only: Heading the UK delegation for LIMUN2005, choreographing the International Fashion Show *gag*, writing my own play, aiding/assisting and researching scope for set up of AID, a charity committee and STAR (3 separate initiatives ;) ). I'm also studying, honestly! Oh and showing a prospective student around on Thursday, whee for mee (A)

Got an interview for 3M, but since it is, yet again, a telephone interview, I shall probably stick with tradition and skew it :-D Numa numa yay, numa numa yay, numa numa numa yay! ;)
Oh and most enjoyable is that favouritest of favourite past times known most fondly as being a complete and utter nuisance to egotistical wretches (6)

Song selection please!
Better make a move for this class now before I miss it again :p
Dus Vidanya!

I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicarry fit.. but nobody erse seems to rearise it

2005-02-02T21:42:00.000Z

I'm so ronery, poor ritrre me :-(

Oh and hehe :$ In my last entry I seem to have made a link out of my ending bit, ooopsies (A)
Well this song is well sweet in any case :D Seems like no one takes me seriousry :'(
Do you know what I just realised yesterday, and confirmed this morning... I've been making my hair parting (well when I make one, and it remains visible anyway 8-) ) on the wrong side! I always thought it was on my right because that's what it looks like in my mirror, but it's actually well everyone sees it on the left. How odd :$ Well anyway so today I shoved all my hair the other way and it frizzed all over my forehead. Whatver look I was going for I'm not sure I'm trying it again :p
Oh I'm home now :D Yay for me, just don't wanna sreep just yet though, waste the day away it does.

Extract from Guardian Devil: What Daredevils mother says to him when he's wasted!

This story is about a knight and a monk. They're travelling together silently for quite some time, until finally the knight says---

"You live a life of poverty, never knowing the touch of a woman, denying yourself all manner of delights -- all because you believe there is a God. I do not share your faith, so I tear the marrow from the bones of Life, indulging myself at every oppurtunity. I've broken every law created by man and church, and I fear no consequence, because I don't believe in your God."

"My question, however, is this --

"What if life ends in the ground, and man is nothing more than meat for the worms. You will have wasted your entire life denying yourself for nothing. What if you die and learn there is no God?"

The monk thought about this and shrugged his shoulders, offering,

"Then I suppose I will be sad. But tell me this, sir...
What happens when you die...
... and you find out there is?"

_____________________________________________________________________

The moral of the story is that monks kept bad company and the knight was hardly knightly :p
And now I must depart again, hey two posts in one day, funky or what?
I'm so PSYCHED!!!! 8-)

Dus Vidanya

If this were a heart it'd be a straight green line -----

2005-02-02T18:55:00.000Z

Righty ho, being under several time contraints, and thus regrettably having a mere 12 mins to myself here, I shall swiftly run through that which is of utmost importance.

Watched Meet the Fockers last night, finished three graphic novels this week, my IR teacher says I'm picking up real well, I'm heading the UK delegation for LIMUN 2005 (interesting twist of fate, and my team members are ineeeeeeeeefficiento), am choreographing an international model show (most probably now, almost definitely), am hopefully getting together a Disney quartet for the charity week, will inevitably have to get my driving test pushed forward, need to go give someone a ticket (parking? No. Sadly :-( ) And have to put together an outline for a script based on this title by Monday, any suggestions would be most welcome!

"Wonders are many, and none is more wonderful than man"

Open to any interpretation, contributors shall be given due credit :p

Oh and.. because I'm a street rat :P

Name the era, and you can name every artist from
it. You've got an eye for design and a knack
for feng shui. Color schemes, architecture, and
objt d'art - these are all your forts.What people love: You're the perfect person to shop
with.What people hate: They have to clean their house
whenever you come over.

Actually that's in certain ways fairly accurate, though I'd most definitely protest the claim that I know much about famosu artists! Phaw, otherwise, good. I'm not very properly elitist anyway, not by the rather obviously available categories in that quiz.

Ho hum, what else, need to write up something I read but must be home for that, expecting several mails, none of which are in as yet... keeping busy busy bumbly bee, but relying on others a hazard I see. :-/
Right whatever, peace all, dus vidanya!
*sleepy*

Eeep, it's all lined :$

Heaven ain't close to a place like this

2005-01-28T00:43:00.000Z

Strike one
Strike two
Steeeeeeeeeeerike.. two again? :-/

Wow Inland Revenue must've really hated me to send the same rejection letter twice! Of course for what it's worth, it was my first interview, blah blah excuse blah, evil interviewer, yadda yadda yadda.
Bloomberg of course was just silly! Mass giant interviewing, and I was surrounded with Masters students all of whom had proper work experience, two of the three I was being interviewed with actually in current full time jobs! Rraszm fraszm, oh but the building was stupendous :D

It is reported.. I expect the Lloyds rejection soon now after having laughed during the interview because I thought one of the questions was weird (apparently a big no-no) I err.. might have insulted him too :$ Total mistake though! Nyah :-(

Happy Birthday to Del, though she'll never see this here 8-)

And umm, right moving on! Live videoconference with 11 sites was so coolishly fun :D There were 10 other uni sites, and one running from Sri Lanka, all set up in the World Bank (lousy London office btw :-/). But I am now part of the leadership squad for the the "Americans for Informed Democracy". Clarifications: It's not for Americans, and Democracy=Global debate. Of course since the words for and informed still remain relevant, there's no majority overhaul of the group name required :P

I have also managed to ( and phaw they say don't start every sentence with an I, rah rah rah!), yes what I've managed to (brackets are hard to ignore, even though they're supposed to not impeded the sentence flow), have managed to... oh , take over control of my UN delegation for the London International (CONTRADICTION IT IS REALLY!) Model United Nations 8-) Am hoping to put together a play, am booked for a boat party cruisin vessel on the 9th, and my academic workload is beginning to creep into my nightmares :D

Right ok so now I'm waiting to take a quiz... I'm sure the results will give me something very fascinating to talk about. Tappity tappity tap tap..
Riiight heads up people :D

Take the quiz: "Which'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=5343">"Which famous dictator are you?"

Joseph Stalin
You're Joseph Stalin! You're the communist leader of the Soviet Union. You got into power by lying, manipulating and murdering... Oh well, power is power. You're probably one of the most paranoid people ever to walk the earth... Yes, they ARE out to get you! You're really ugly but you don't allow the public to see that... Image is everything and what they don't know can't hurt them, right? You can't stand those who question you... You tend to make them disappear very quickly. You need some serious counseling.

I'm not ugly.. sob wail cry shout scream.. *shoots his make-up department*
HAH last time they'll try that! Where's my jobola oil!
Anyway image is what counts.. and Red Alert was about ME!!! Me me me me Meeeeeeeeee!!! I rule, stfu! (A)
I just like saying that.. sounds kinda like stuff you... hehe (A)

Oh yes, what with half an hour left to waste, I shall now perform an autopsy of loooove.
There are many kinds of love.
The opposite of love is hate.
You can love, hate or not give a damn.. sorry dang.
Love is in all of us.
Contrary to popular toon-induced propoganda, the heart is not shaped like that n a deck of cards but is a big pulsating muscle that usually tries to run out of your chest and smash your ribs to pieces whenever you might come across love... or big scary dudes in dark alleys.
The kind of love means that English does in itself not provide enough variations.
Attraction = Love
Love for your family,friends and other half is all different.
Your other "half" is usually easily amputated, not necessary to survival, and the donor market is the largest.
Sometimes other halves, using this thing called love, believed in by teeny boppers and a band called Darkness, to cast a spell due to which amputation may cause scarring.
The only way to deal with lost love is to use lots of hate, much like a chemical acid-alkali reaction.
This may leave you feeling somewhat salty.
There are no absolutes in love.
Hence, love scarring may also be fixed by the use of, say, more love.
This may leave you feeling a bit like melted chocolate.
The association of love with food is unusually strong only if such love as is applicable to other "halves" is mentioned.
Other sorts of love, such as that for family, is more shelled.
Shells are boring.
Love for friends is the most easily revived, dead for years and easy shock therapy solves most scenarios.
The use of the words "I Love You", which are only slightly less powerful than "Banana Hammock", is usually reserved for such cases where the user is either trying to salvage a flailing relationship, or post 2am at a bar.
Saying I love you to friends is either A) A recipe for disaster, or B) Very gay.
It can also be one of C,D or E, but they're most likely to be found imprinted on Teddy Bears.
Another interesting sort of love is that for things, or activities.
Such love depends on the thing, or activity.
Hate can also be easily spun against the same things, or activities.
Love and hate are an emotion that can thus be tied up to both animate and inanimate objects.
Together, this makes a crucible for Romance.
Romance involves love, hate and flowers.
It can also involve banana hammocks, but this is purely island dependant.
If it weren't for love, men would not rule the earth.
Hence, Love=Man power.
This is open to debate.
You know you love me really!
Have a wonderful day, this is Ray signing out.
Lots of love,
Joseph Stalin.
xxx

Coming soon.
Hugs, Kisses and Hersheys. The biography.

Angels and Demons and Dreams

2005-01-12T20:25:00.000Z

www.stickcricket.com
Brilliant game to play, but can be incredibly frustrating, causing me to deliver this post prematurely. Maybe I'll toss it into an incubation chamber before it's ready for the grand unveiling?
You can bet Word would have thrown a green line fit over that last question mark. But since I am a man(possibly) of focus(suprisingly) who feels that all entries must have a structure(ok I'm NOT talking about me anymore am I!), I shall hasten to the ultimate purpose of this highly enlightening revelation.

I have regrettably found myself a fan. No dictionaries needed, but it is true. Long a supporter of the LOTR way of life, never could I have found myself at such a perilous juncture, where the very fabric of my fantasy-ridden persona finds itself dishonourably attracted to a completely heathen style of writing. The culprit in this saga, Mr Dan Brown. For not even the mighty LOTR did I ever attempt to finish in less than a day. Not when reading Winters Heart by Robert Jordan did I find myself so drawn in that no manner of sleep deprivation would hold me away from its pages. Brown has been my downfall. No other author have I ever stayed up all night to get through, tucked in bed with images of ghoulish fiends bursting through my closed bedroom door as dawn breaks through my blinds. Such images are often entertained by my more vampiric senses as daylight creeps over the horizon, sending images to assault my senses that make the exorcist girl look like a Barbie doll. Dawn is no time for a decent count to be found with his eyes glued to a book, scratched by the inevitable turning of pages, and barely registering the rest of the family dutifully leaving for work/school. Bless the holidays and their allowance for mad rushes, spoken in true Ross-onian style.
That was the Da Vince Code in the holidays. The matter here is not that I have never stayed up all night before, nor that I would indeed be reading a book from the general night-starter of 10pm. But it was a book I had begun in the early afternoon, interrupted for a test, tea and tv. When I revisited at 2am, the bed-time story seemed to stretch considerably longer than intended. Angels and Demons, its predecessor, only kept me offically awake till 3am. Images it had created wouldn't leave me till much later though, and over the two days I hacked at it between train rides and sitcoms, the dreams it generated have been demonic, the angelic part obviously reserved for my daily exuberance shown to the dear world around me.
But enough of dilly, and Queen dally-ing. What's the point! Ah-ha, such is the issue. What_is_the_point. Well the point as it is seems to have rather unfortunately spread itself into a giant puddle of befuddlement that now plagues my very existence. His ability to merge fact with fiction, twist things to make that seemingly true a fabrication based upon centuries of deceit, bah, it's almost painful to withstand such an onslaught in a single session.
Do I exaggerate? Inevitably. But it is only out of admiration. He took Roma, and he turned it upside down on its head, making me want to go there now, even though I visited it just this summer, more than I have ever wanted to do in the 20 years of my life before I had even considered such a trip. He turned France into a treasurehouse of such secrets that I spent the next week, only recently concluded, verifying the accuracy of the many tales he spun. All based on some bits of history or the other, clever mergers, and some startingly true. The redefinition of the Holy Grail is a must read for all avid supporters of "feminism", sacred feminism even. Conspiracy theories have always been there, but never presented in such a fictitious manner as to make annoyingly clear the huge amount of knowledge that I must have. Not an egotistic statement, it's meant to show my desire to get that knowledge. The knowledge that I must have but don't! There's so much buried on this planet, I'd happily live in university lectures all my life. Not the math ones though ;)
Angels and Demons happily didn't climax till the end, rather than mid-way like the Da Vince code, which totally shakes you (given the information there is "new", which it obviously isn't for some people, depending on what you've been reading at other points in life). It was less predictable, shedding light on strange practises and events that all find their verification from given monuments. Perhaps the most frustrating move of Brown is that by writing these books of fiction, he raises the question of what the quirks his work is based on are actually doing there in the first place. Certainly not coincidence.
He seems to have a certain amount of venom for the Church, though not Christianity. It's absorbing, but this is hardly a book review. All it's done is inspire an up and coming theology vs atheism post. So dark the con of man.

I do believe I shall now indulge myself in a bit of lunching, before a livejournal post, and then onto other academic pursuits, none of which I hold very dear to my heart. The dreams though, a brief mention of the dreams. The first night, where two boys who I'm sure I know try to steal my car with my siblings in the back. A mad car chase brings us into the Police area near fortress under the bridge, Q**** lines I think or something. There we have some sort of face-off, the exact details of which get blurry, though involve, oddly enough, Haroon and Badar as policemen jumping the two guys, at some point the two guys dieing, and then their mother Madonna! coming and swearing vengeance upon me. Skip to Act II with a large lawn party in some sunny green area. I climb high atop a tower and something startles me. There's suddenly no way down, and I topple the whole tower, bringing myself down and jumping off before ground impact. Unerringly similiar to the image I had of Robert Langdon on the book Shelves in the Vatican vault, only I didn't read that till the next day. There are sparks and family drama, and the secret unveiling of some video. it blurs now, but it left me feeling chilled.
Todays dreams were truly odder, involving the discovery of a fourth marker in Rome that helps kind of neatly wrap up the original Path of the Illuminati. Most odd, only then it spins to me moving through a jungle labryinth. I come across a great gaping hole, and kill a cat for some absurd reason. The way then seems to fill up with twigs and I can cross, only to come to a poll with people waiting to be taken by me. In waht sense? Oh wait I'm suddenly a vampire, and choose some odd goth-ish person, drinking up the blood as the pool turns black. I had fangs very close to those of the HEadless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow, not at all the kind of decent vampire I'd imained myself. Only then the scene backtracks to the path. Still filled with twigs, another cat comes, fat and low. It looks up at me and asks if I plan to skin it, but I say I've killed my cat of the day. It doesn't trust me much, moving slightly backwards and forwards, and suddenly I'm afraid of it. It's teeth, the claws, the arched back. Mutual fears coincide, and I throw the body of the previously killed cat now surprisingly in my hands, behind myself. The cat starts to passs by, rolling over, and all the time I'm afraid it may claw me. It says it's afraid too though, and I believe it. I cross the path again and hear Tarzan. Oh wait, that's my alarm clock. Up for uni, less than 3 hours of fitful odd-dream sleep.

Dus Vidanya!

What happens, happens, and what man can claim to know the reason for reason

2005-01-05T11:36:00.000Z

Happy New Year! I just felt it important to deal with the most basic impending issue first. While it may be late, it’s the thought that counts, and if I have your mobile number you shall already have been wished by now. To everyone else my sincerest apologies but I do believe my upcoming resolutions should see to that, though I currently lack any resolution other than the one kindly thrust upon me by BSM to pass my practical driving test. Having dealt with this prime, though most assuredly not most important, issue, I can now move onto things more close to the motivation behind this grand undertaking. Having just finished watching Pretty Woman (finally!) and listening to Take My Breath Away, I’m proud to announce that this is NOT an entry about mush nor love (yay or boo as the case may be) What IS very special about this entry is that it is to be the first that is present in both my journal AND blog, hence the construction in MS Word, a suitably neutral though damnable medium, yet favouring neither beloved keeper of innermost thoughts, and more frequently, general blabbering. What else makes this entry special is that it’s the first one for 2005, and also contains what I hope shall be an account of one of the most unique and wonderful weeks of my life. That hope is likely to be dashed for I freely admit that to put such an event into words is well beyond my ability, nor do I feel that any words written on the subject would do it any justice. In favour of the journal readers, the following section on the brilliance of the “Kith and Kids Experience” shall be provided as an LJ cut, hence removing the scrolling hazard. To the blog populace, it’s there to be scrolled. It’s also going to be one of those rare entries that I write focused upon myself rather than any audience, especially given the general divergence of my blog and journal styles, any similarities to either mode here are purely natural.

Here Goes, good luck!

I have included here and there brief references to three training days I had attended prior to the beginning of their Christmas Project. There is no particular need to delve deeply into their substance, seeing as how they were primarily aimed at familiarising us with the basics of a variety of disabilities and the sort of situations we might encounter. The Sunday immediately preceding the beginning of the event was spent meeting some of the members, but as the one I was volunteering with wasn’t in, it was more an observation experience than anything else. So I can generally skip quickly towards Monday, the 27th of December. The training days were themselves however the beginning of my experiences of the most energising games played in groups exceeding 60 people, at times crossing over the 100 mark. Organised by Robin, they were different and yet promoted a sense of familiarity amongst all the participants that was surreal. Have you ever seen energy? Because you could actually see energy there, sparkling clouds of it falling off volunteers from every walk of life. Though when it comes to visualising energy, this was just a small taster from the great dish in making.
It’s a good 15-20 min walk from Seven Sisters station to the KK centre. Add to that the average journey time of nearly an hour, the general physical state as you step in after braving the cold winds and sacrificing much tissue paper in such a perilous journey is rather dismal. At least at the entrance for once you step in there is a veritable shower of pixie dust. Faith, trust and pixie dust… think of a happy little thought, those are the ingredients to flying if my memory serves me right (and it unerringly does on such matters). There is this buzz you can hear, as the small bands of volunteers that have arrived go about setting up the materials provided by the administrators before the much-anticipated arrival of the members. This is the day after Boxing Day, and after nearly a week of festivities or general relaxation, everyone is in a state somewhere between anxiety and lethargy. They may not be linked states, but the middle is quite a sight. (At this time I would like to apologise to any readers for the tense switching, it’s just how it comes: $) So I stroll in towards the big hall, and this is quite an extensive centre. One large hall, a kitchen, several rooms, and another fair sized cabin-come-shed at the back. There’s some paved area as well, green fields don’t find themselves at home in London. So yeah, back to the hall, past the cloakroom (the existence of which remained unknown to me for several days). I see some familiar faces, but they’re all either helping out or heading towards the kitchen for some morning tea to bring them back to Earth. I scribble my name on the sign-in list, make myself a name-tag {We all had these, and I believe they are really very useful. All people in uni/work should be required to wear one, helps boost conversation, or maybe that was just the atmosphere 8-)} what did I do then? I think I just found someone nearby to sit and talk to, couldn’t remember who it was. I did however get lost enough to be totally oblivious to Carrie (organiser) calling out my name as my member (Louis) arrived. The other volunteer who was on Team support and was also assigned to Louis seemed similarly lost though, and so the poor kid was attached to a different volunteer as the organisers waited for me to “arrive”. I did finally arrive 5 mins later and went in for my first meeting. It has to be said that Louis was really early, almost everyday. No other members had actually started to pour in as yet. But we said our hellos, and went on to introductions and how are you, etc etc. Twas never going to be easy as he seldom spoke. But with a barrage of questions and much head shaking and nodding, we set up some line of communication which led us to the kitchen and finally to a table where we sat drumming our fingers waiting for the day to begin.
Fingers dancing gracefully across my memory. They trickled in, slowly and steadily. People, but so different that the elusive nature of the entire spectrum of humanity could never be more obvious. They jumped and shouted. They cried and jogged. They hid behind their parents or glanced apprehensively towards their new volunteers. They tackled strangers and communicated with gestures and sounds that you found easy to respond to and yet exhilarating to go through. As the rest of the “adult” group gathered (So labelled due to no other distinguishing characteristic other than the desire of the members to be known as such, and their increased affinity for assimilation into the “mainstream”) After all, the level of disabilities here was massive, ranging from barely detectable, as it was in several members of the adult group, to, well, the other end is too diverse to even begin commenting on. So we marched off to the back cabin, which was to be our base of operations for the first three days, and was later abandoned due to a rather heavy gas leakage!
And now for the group, and little “satellite” which was to make the primary component of my interaction over the next week.
Co-ordinators = Dan and Deborah
Louis = Mesa and Liz (And Lok for a large part)
Martin = Barbarah and Santos
Mark = Naz and Katie
Ben = Kevin and Chris
Antony = Callum and Jey
John = Tim and George
Richie = Kola and Natalie
I do believe that was the lot of us, the happy little bundle that we were. And it was in that group that we were loosened up with games such as Anyone Who, and Zip Zap Bop, and the rather unforgettable morning Yoga sessions! They would talk about all the issues concerning adaptation and anything that might concern our bonding and interests. There were more games, and tasks such as discussing qualities while modelling clay on it. And now I give up even trying to do this on a day-by-day basis, it’s suddenly rather overwhelming, and to put it into words properly would require some serious effort. This is a horrible job; it’s more like the thought flow without any construction whatsoever, and I feel to miss anything would be a grave injustice. I would like to have put these memories down so I can look back at them someday, but in a way, to even admit that there be such memories that far exceed the perimeters of any short stories, and could show the roads to riches beyond gold, that caused hearts to lift feet off the ground, that made bonded complete strangers to turn goodbyes into heartache, heh, making love out of nothing at all. I stuck with Louis, and together Liz and I with our prompting could if we were lucky get complete sentences. Had we a month, I feel he might have overcome his hesitation, and then again, had I a month, as I believe Kola put it, it’s all well and good for us to say we could have bonded better and achieved so much, but then to break away from the members, as unsupervised communication is not considered favourable, would have been more than they deserved to be put through. At lunchtime, the queues of people, the short moments spent with people who were creating energy as if it were something natural… and I suppose energy, as a word is only a meagre substitute for what was there. A constant beehive of activity is further from the truth than an energy waterfall, where there exhaustion came and yet was pushed back by the concentrated efforts of the organisers that caused adrenaline to rush through so that at the end of the day a fallen workforce would jump out of its seats and run rings around the compound. It was, a better place. Where a simple design of stripes was an artistic masterpiece, where clapping hands could send waves of joy, where the natural detachment and hostility of the human race was melted. May that spirit never die, the one that was so obviously there. It was so obviously another world. People could be themselves. Shed the shackles of society that make it aloof and cold. Perhaps it’s naïve of me to think that this happy friendly face of man is its true nature, but the infinite rounds of applause for finally achieving a state where everyone could be oneself made it apparent that in the end that is what we all are. And the “real” self that may be malicious and self centred is only as real as the broken world we live in makes it. There was an odd sort of disco, the sort of disco that discos should be. Where people can be themselves rather than polluted alcohol-driven shadows of their souls. There was a show where the talent on display earned more genuine applause than we would give to an Andrew Lloyd Webber play. It was, ultimately, a life within which I could happily lose myself, apparent though it was that it’s as disconnected from reality as the earth is from the sun. The sun affects the earth, not vice versa. And so it was a thrill ride, one that I may never be able to experience again, due to the time constraints that seem to rule life. We went bowling for a day, 3 of the members, and their 7 volunteers. It wasn’t a group of life-long friends. It was a group that knew it would probably never meet again. And yet it was the most enjoyable bowling experience of my life. And when Louis scored his strike, he WAS “walking on air”. There was a lot of air-walking that week. And of course I managed in all the madness of it all to actually toss my ball behind me (A)
One thing that did stay with me was my inability to actually compliment someone properly. Though I’m trying to bite down on my sarcasm, I have learnt to rather modestly take things such as “you’re so funny”. Or as modestly as it can be taken, and yet when I was given things such as my voice has a wonderful melody or my personality is sweet and wonderful, that was incredible. Maybe because you don’t hear that in “real life”, as life outside KK was regularly referred to. Not an odd reference, given how removed that life was. And yet while I’ve often had such things written to me, to have some things said to your face is totally different. Well, ok, to have them said with such seriousness from people you’ve barely known 4 days then. That’s what made it so unreal, and so utopian, if that’s the right word for such a case. The support was so powerful and remarkable that it almost seemed like you didn’t need it. And we were often reminded of how remarkable it is that perfect strangers could have become so tight within so short a period. When it came to the goodbyes though, I was horribly bad at them as always. I didn’t allow for number exchanges though. We did all realise that in the REAL world, we all came from backgrounds too far removed from one another. None of us were going the same way, and I for one wasn’t about to wait around for something that isn’t going to happen. That said I do truly wish to attend the Thursday evening events held every fortnight. Maybe it’ll be some small leftover to savour, though the entire power of 120 people merged into that area to build up a force of such unspeakable power is probably not going to return till the subsequent Easter and Summer projects. Heck, I even played football and loved it! Not to mention the talent demonstrated by apparently “disabled” people in the realm of video making. I saw the most incredible home videos ever, funny spoofs of star wars, the office, star trek, old detective show, the work by Martin and Mark in that field was absolutely stellar. It was a wild mix, I can’t say that enough. But there must be other such little worlds, hidden in the gaps allowed by Mother Earth in her domain of chains and social rules. I wonder if I could find them, or if this was truly unique. It was truly unique for all the people there, so if not, it’s rare enough to be worth its weight in gold. And how did we end? Surprisingly, it was something I had actually said we should end with on Thursday, so that on Friday, the 31st, the last day of the year, we said goodbye to the members with the Hokey Pokey. I’ve always wanted to do that, and to have it done in a group of 120 was like a dream come true… least my hokey pokey dream! And now this has become a kind of dream, floating out on the tide, yet it shall in some way, remind me of what lurks under the stonewalls we have erected for ourselves. If nothing else, this is the sort of thing where you can drag the pessimists and cynics to and shout out Damn em all! Optimism has to finally pay off; it just needs a chance, as do most things.
There’s too much left to say, I could never. Bright eyes burning like fire. Peace all. I wish I could show you everything inside, I wish you could be there to experience it. Then again, I wish it were “real life”, but we gleam hope from where we can, and I’ll dutifully plod along after this carrot.

I do have a couple of other topics I’d like to brush over before I call it a night. After all, tomorrow, or this afternoon, depending on how you look at it, I have my Inland Revenue Interview. Should try to get SOME sleep for it!
But first, some of the many things I’ve been dieing to put down into writing, just so my future self can have an idea of how my thought progressed over time. HEY FUTURE RAY! You rule! Or at least you did back now, sucker: P (A)

Comedy

It’s only fair to point out the heavy influence on my line of thought that the Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams happens to have had in certain areas. And comedy would be one of them. Well ok, maybe it’s better to phrase it as what it means to be funny. In a good week, I can wrack up an almost daily utterance of “you’re so funny”. It’s not that it comes naturally to me, it’s really the kind of approval my system begs for, and hence the vines encircle any hapless victim and force him/her to utter these words. It’s like I need some affirmation that what I do is different from sheer idiocy, lunacy and madness on the slim basis that it does actually make people laugh, at times a good deal more than it should, countered by just as frequent forced laughter. I’m not looking for an appointment as a court jester though. It’s more like a self-designated position of “Bringer of Joy and Laughter”. Discarding modesty, I know that I manage to get there for some people, and fail miserably for others. For some, it’s only as long as I can keep it going, for a laugh is by no means a permanent solution, though a treasure that can be valued when it comes only to be forgotten later. Yet what are the parameters of such a task? To be funny, would require the use of some clever utilisation of wit. Satire. Mockery. The two are different. To mock things beyond ones understanding or over ones status is “funny” but only in that the ridiculing of the unachievable for a moment tempers the maddening desire to be somewhere you shall never be unless by some miraculous change in fortunes (or some serious dedication that the majority of man shall go through life without exerting). Now to be funny is much easier. People will laugh at anything and everything. Trip over a loose piece of pavement or fall down when brushed by a twig and you’re at least as entertaining as Tom running headfirst into a frying pan. Dance a little jig with a duster is entertaining; coupled with a suitably ludicrous song makes it funny. I would know, I’ve done it. I’m in now way saying that I’d rather give up such slapstick comedy and move onto the far more complex task of sitting at a table and making people laugh while NOT resorting to a book full of jokes (the majority of which are probably less funny than … Here I’m at that point where I could insert some comparison to something obviously not very funny. To say a Gay Eskimo would be lost on most, to say George Bush would be found funny in specialised circles, in fact, it’s an open joke, one where what you put in can be made to cater for an audience. The end result is only to prove that books of jokes are generally a lot less funny than, well, to be honest books of jokes. We’ve all read them and know exactly how charming “What’s black, dangerous and flies?” “A crow with a machine-gun” can be.). To be intellectually amusing is a serious risk. In an increasingly diverse world, where our variety is often suppressed by a need to conform, we run the risk of in fact trying to toy with something either incredibly personal to some stony faced individual, or totally lost on pseudo-intelligentsia. I’ve read Mark Twain. I never got his social satire, at least not in the way that I would finish a book of his and remember that as its defining point. Apparently, he’s famous for his social satire. I know I find Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams funny. I don’t know why, and I also know people who despise both authors. In the end I’ll wallow in the glory of being praised as incredibly funny, but it all comes down to identifying with your audience. I’ll never be a stand-up comedian because my area of expertise is a far smaller group. People I know. I generally end up offending strangers I don’t know. Maybe because I act too familiar. We all must hide behind our castle walls. Who knows what we laugh at behind them? But laughter comes more easily now, “funny” as a memorable personality trait is used to replace a blank for less well-known people in a life where we shall interact with dozens on a daily basis.

Feelings

My titles are coming rather abruptly, and for that I can only blame their being saved in my mobile and the typing is slow in that field. At least on my To-Do list. As the time nears 3am though, I’m not so sure I want to go into this. Yet I know not when next I’ll attempt such a focused diary entry while avoiding dozens of distractions. So I might as well go the full 15 inches. Without my generally flowery introductions to all subject matter though, this is to do with nothing more extravagant than the commercialisation of human emotion. And is based more on a series of questions than conclusions. Why do we feel more pain when someone close to us is hurt, yet shed more tears upon the smallest dilemma of a closely followed soap character? Why does the plight of a hero affect us more than the more tragic story of the homeless man? Why does news of deaths in a bomb blast cause less concern than the death of just a single person by artificial means in ones own city? Why does the tsunami receive less attention in social circles than the latest football match? Why does the lack of a decent storyline cause such outrage when it may be more in tune with normal life? Why, ultimately, do our feelings experience such a roller coaster when faced with fictional events yet remain impervious to the horrors of human tragedy? Why not!
Of course it’s easy to scream out loudly in your disapproval of any listed allegation, but they are all based on some observation or the other. They apply not to anyone in particular, but to the dissipation of feeling in people as such. Many a man have I met who has said he shall cry at the movies yet find himself unable to do so even should his heart scream for tears of blood. Is that really a social stigma? Men say they are told not to cry in public. Yet for ages now that as been changing in favour of tears as a powerful emotional release. Perhaps the movies are just a starting point to bringing humanity back to humans. Or maybe they will become a place where we can be human in the darkness of a hall, where no one else can see us. For it is only within ourselves that we can afford to show weakness.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

For what it’s worth, I demand appreciation of my title improvisation. It was not pre-constructed, though it truly be a song. To end, or at least hopefully end, because while my mind swims with more to talk of, I feel rather lost in the sea of my own thoughts to go on much longer and shall allow the sandman to drown me in them soon. Anyway, I have only recently dreamt of a world full of superheroes swinging through buildings as Spiderman and fighting Godzilla, the rush was incredible, and oh so real. But changes, for it is the New Year after all. And what New Year can be ushered in without at least some reference to that most remarkable of phenomena known as changes. I’ve only ushered in many things with some words or the other on it. In a recent conversation with Fern (yes I DID actually manage to find time to make SOME phone call 8-)), it was rather surprising to see how much has changed. Even in 3 months. How can so much change in 3 months yet so much remain static over a decade? I suppose the only real answer anyone comes up with is I don’t know, and yet that never detracts from the originality of the question, as it is thrown over varying time periods. How could so much have changed over even a week? A day? Heck I don’t know, but I know it can change, and while change isn’t irreversible, chances are that unless there is some compelling reason it will remain as part of the evolutionary process. (D’oh! Reminds me, I wanted to write about evolution too!)
But we’re all changing. Some rapidly while others not so much. Sometimes the subtlest changes lost on those around us come out upon reunions with old acquaintances. We’re all having a most fascinatingly diverse set of experiences. It prepares us for nothing and a lot, and while we lose a lot of what made us, it’s more like a snake shedding its skin whence its task is completed. Unless we evolve, we shall be submerged by the ever-rising tide of change around us. And then our own choosing brings about some changes. Some by mistakes, and hell I know I’ve made those. To vanish into my own world and then try to re-enter one I had so actively been a part of seems a daunting task in itself. There’s never enough time, never enough energy to do everyone the justice they deserve. Especially if in the time spent apart there have been changes even you understand and see, but believe to have been for your own betterment. Cautious optimism to replace a quixotic ness that often caused disappointment. An increased amount of self-reliance since dependency removes the ability to criticise and voice opinions felt detrimental to ones position. If you become too indebted to someone, you gauge your actions too carefully. You lose the position of being a good friend to being someone who shall do his best to keep the other happy. In that case, you’re worse than a friend. Changes are scary, and yet we can all adapt. Yet even for the most unchanging of us, to adapt to the changes in others breaks our own diamond-enforced view of the world. If you keep your mind as open as a scientist yet your soul as closed as the Gates of Hell (if only ;), then there shall be conflict. Conflict resolved by change? Why this example? Even a vice versa example would have sufficed, if only to illustrate that change has no path to follow, and nothing to predict. It can be welcome for it must be welcomed, better read in reverse.
What of changes in the quest for genuine happiness? Empirical evidence collected by manual observation would suggest that the attainment of a relation in the form of a boyfriend/girlfriend brings the same happiness now that having the latest toy in a craze would have brought all those years ago. That said I still envy Adeel his Optimus Prime: P But the rules change. Some changes are socially evolved. Others are of our own choosing to counter social influences. And etc etc etc.

Ah, so much there is. Thoughts whiz about like the snitch, and in my pursuit of one I often lose the other. I’m going to call it a won match this time, for once. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I don’t even know what today has made me bring! Just don’t ask me what it was.

Take care everyone. Bestest wishes for a new year. May it bring you all the happiness and comfort that the last one stole away. If naming years were to be a tradition, I’d just call this the year of Change really, for so much of it is yet to come. It also abbreviates to YOC, which can be pronounced yolk, from which a new chicken shall cometh. May your chicken be a good one!

Dus Vidanya! xXx

Flaming Flowers that Brightly Blaze, Swirling Clouds in Violet Haze

2004-12-24T22:45:00.000Z

There's a lot you can learn from the flowers (Golden Afternoon)
What does a flower say when it blooms?

2pm and the world is dead. The world would include my uni mail servers. Hum dee, less too worry bout I guess, no apping over christmas. Well then, so what has transpired since the last entry. Plenty and not so much, dependant upon ones priorities. Listening to Vincent is probably not the best mood to be posting in anyway. Shall just wait for it to finish. dot dot dot. Done :) Message in a bottle by MachineHead shall serve me fine, hopefully.

Recent Events
I got an interview call from Bloomberg for the 25th of January, so could the good luck brigade please focus some power there as well? Much appreciated shall it be.
Booked my driving test (at last!) for the 17th of Feb at 9 37 in ze mourning. Wouldn't mind passing (A)
Had an absolutely horrible time trying to install a new printer. Rather embarassing really, not had this sort of a tecchy breakdown in ages, can usually fix just bout anything. But eventually got sent off the comp because nobody liked how snappy I was getting. Unfair really, everyone else can be snappy all ze time :P Odd problem in the way that it has a screen that tells you to insert the USB cable and then it will auto-install. Only when I do that the plug and play thingy detects it and tries to install it instead, rather than the supplied CD. In troubleshooting it has the brilliant suggestion of hit cancel on the plug and play screen and try again. How on middle earth is trying again supposed to stop the problem from reoccuring :-/
Got a host of new smilies from a couple of people, much coolness as my msn has now been inundated with an even larger amount of emoticon use!
My picture has received muchos compliments, including unshaven Irish drunk... which I protest only on the grounds that I wasn't really unshaven, it was just late night and stuff :$ Irish drunk is so a compliment :P
Too much love is running around *gag*
My brother got a Nintendo DS shipped in from the US, quite a funky piece of machinery. Metroids graphis looked identical to the GameCube, and the touchpad is snazzy!
I've managed to catch up with a lot of people I hadn't spoken to properly in the last 2-3 months, so it's been fairly satisfying.
Oh and playing Tiberian Sun is an odd feeling, not even sure if it's fun now. But what the hey, it's memories :-/
Currently reading The Fifth Elephant by Pratchett :D And finally obtained Da Vince Code, but waiting for mother to finish with it first :) Took my time didn't I ::)
Love lifts us up where we belong, where eagles fly in the mountains high
Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day :P
I've never actually seen Moulin Rouge, how depressing :$
Move on move on move on!

Recent Movies
Finally managed to see the Incredibles :D Am so glad Disney is picking up, even if it is due entirely to Pixar, I suppose the days of good animated features is now gone :( But the movie was so good, not entirely a comedy, but very entertaining. I'm sure watching a kid run on water isn't supposed to be a touching scene!
Rented 4 movies from Blockbusters recently, and the 3.75 that Garfield cost me goes down as a great loss, but would've been bigger had we all gone to see it in the cinema! Pretty kee-rappa really (A)
The other 3, and I watched all 3 yesterday ::), were Dracula (The one by Francis Ford Coppolla), Just Visiting(with Jean Reno) and Alice in Wonderland! :D
Dracula, was interesting. It flowed really well, and Drac was quite a cool character, broken hearted vampire you could actually feel sorry for. Anthony Hopkins as Helsing was brill, as was most of the cast. But what I've always found to be a major drawback of vampire movies, especially the Dracula class is how much they hype up the powers of the centuries old foe, and yet kill him so easily. This one had as dissappointing an end as all of them.
Just Visiting had a Knight and his Servant transported to modern day Chicago. Quite funny, but nothing to talk about. I'd recommend it in any case if you want a good laugh. The cover said better than Shrek, and that might well be true :p
Alice was well.. Alice! :D My sister insisted I pick that up though she'd seen it before. I somehow enjoyed it a lot more this time around then I ever did when I was a kid. Dunno why exactly, but it was really fun :)
Oooh watched Chronicles of Riddick as well. Very good action movie, Riddick was such a cool character, though I'm well aware of the fact that the mass majority hates this flick. Ending was TOO abrupt.

Recently Accquired Songs
Well I mentioned Iko Iko in the last one, soooo...

Filthy and Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters
If you Leave me Now- Chicago
Phantom of the Opera - Nightwish
I want it all - Queen
What you waiting for - Gwen Stefani
Vertigo - U2
That 70s Show theme :$
With or without you - U2 (I must've lost this one, could've sworn I had it!)
Santa Baby - Marilyn Monroe (A)

Most of those found their way onto my MP3 player to provide company to Suteki, Maahi Ve, Fruits Basket Theme, and some others. :P

Dracula-la-la I'm a sucker for your love
When you do do do what you do to me
Dracula-la-la now I've got you in my blood
Don't know how dear Count it's a mystery (A)

Hmm, oh forgot to mention it. Went to get my passports renewed, but now we need a countersignatory because apparently all of us have changed a lot since the pictures on our old ones were taken. Rrazm frazm <_<>
How much can a person change anyway? Well, externally. Oh I dunno. People can change over a fortnight. It's all relative. To hide behind a veil means people will always be mystified as to exactly how exactethly intelligent and wise you are. Sometimes, that mystery may give you the edge that was never yours.

So till next time m'cheries ::), have a great weekend, take care of yourselves and may the force be with you! I'm sorry I'm not providing any entertainign link, but I dare not press the comp. Do try to check out the new trailers for Batman Begins and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory though, you won't be dissappointed.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes.
I can't wait :) It should be coming soon. I simply remember some of my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad ;) Oh and I found my lost VERY cool Batman T-Shirt! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

*Magnets to all and for all a Magnet*

Dus Vidanya

Evolution, Infra-Red, Lonely Nerds and IKO!!

2004-12-20T11:45:00.000Z

The possibility of drawing a smiley face using the bottom dots of them exclamation marks as eyes is probably fairly low hmm :(
It's 20 past 3, I've been a dizzy devil for hours, getting up to all sorts of random stuff. This would include, but is certainly not limited to random postings here and there, obtaining a photobucket account, and trying to catch up with people I've ignored solong, yet no one seems to be online after midnight. Tres odd :o (A)

In any case, I've given myself a topic that shall provide a rought guide for the flow of my entry. Where to begin? Evolution apparently, but I'd just like to take a short spin to say Triumph the Dog sent to me by Zak was hilarious, especially at this volatile time of day, and that today was my first day actually interacting with the members at K&K. Twas exciting in a way, with so many you can't tell if they even have a disability, while others were so apparent. It was probably the most diverse range of human existence within a designated age bracket I've seen. And what an age bracket, ranging from 4-49, I felt a bit lonely since my member didn't come in today. But we had our autism workshop so I figure that will be helpful, and it gives me time to brush up on Eastenders ::)

Oh a Belief-o-matic test I took says I'm 100% Islam and Orthodox Jew.. how truly fascinating. Though I feel my answers might have been slightly motivated by the fact that I'd've been fairly dismayed had some toehr religion popped up :$ Online quizzes, phaw (A) I'm such an angel I break most of em ;) Christmas in Birmingham, dependant on transport over Boxing Day. GET YOUR EU VISA NOW!!!! *ahem* I know you're reading... *spooky music* :P And I don't know how to spell what the visa is really called (A)

I don't like humans <_<>

Evolution yes! Well I've now compiled a rough haphazard collection of pictures from the beginning of my mobile camera last December to, well, this December. The changes are fairly amazing. My hair seems to flit around like an afro could only dream to. And now that it's cut again for the interview season, I'm looking for my last pre-occupation growth spurt. Curl and wave and twirl and twist, ever wish on an eyelash? I do, and I suppose it works. Though all my wishes come true.. have yet to try on a shooting star. Just never had the oppurtunity. I also look far better as a negative. I sense irony and ominous doom in that, but for now I'll file it under X and look it up in the mourning.

I'm a vampire. Revelation? Hardly. But I've evolved my theory of leeching. Yes I could potentially be a leech too, but where's the honour in that? Can you imagine my biography being called Ray the Leech King? I think not! So here's the mathematically proven analysis. 1 "best" friend entitles me to an almost unlimited supply of bubblicious energy, allowing comparisons to the best Mint Aero. 2 "best" friends break all embarassment and social awareness barriers, and any fool to argue with me when I be so empowered does so at tremendous risk. 4 people in total will have me swinging from a lamp post if the lamp post is low enough. No close friend will have me struggling to be myself and generally being more socially awkward than a snail in an ant eaters mouth. Thus the theory of Confi-Suck and Bubble-Bust is born. All terms are hereby copyrighted and free to use for the simple fee of an eternity of damnation :p

Infra-Red was with regards to photo transfer from mobile to LT, why IS that there :-/ I'll put this paragraph to better use by presenting a dilemma that needs carefully processed advice. One good friend likes another good friend in some circle. To tell of feelings could spell social tension for entire group, or possible success. Other friend has however never though of first friend in this way. What to do? I'm sorry if I've trivialised the issue :$

Lonely nerds, oops! That was with regards to the Triumph the dog video. Anyone ever has time ask Zak (or myself) for it, tis supremo comedy! :D With regards to Star Wars first showing ;)

IKO IKO! My grandma and your grandma sitting by the fire, my grandma say to your grandma gonna set her flat on fire.. or something :$ Love this song! :D

And to finish, I shall part with such valuable advice as...

Haagen-Dagz

Easier to spell or pronounce?
Namarie
(Yes, that's elvish/sindarin. For once, I may :p )

Opinions are like @$$holes, everybody has one...

2004-12-15T08:29:00.000Z

Hauntingly beautiful
No not THAT quote, just generally. Well ok this post is actually a bit abotu cool quotes I can think of at midnight, and also about what was hauntingly beautiful. With regards to the latter, that would be the musical score of LOTR, and in particular Return of the King. I shall now proceed to brag about how I have recently accquired ROTKExtendedEdition!!! :D Other than 48 extra minutes of absolutely wonderful footage, that movie so beats anything out this winter. Got it yesterday and already seen it 1.13 times (A)
Yes, that .13 was me walking in late since I was out today watching another entirely different ditzy movie, which would be VeerZaara. My cinema outings were seriously swalloped during term, and I've been trying to see this one for ages now. Missed two friend outings, and the family outing for it! Just my luck hmm :p But yeah finally managed to watch it, and other than the TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE singing, the movie was really quite touching and vunderbar :D Still doesn't reach Kal Ho Na Ho level of which I am a ditzy fan, that movie being responsible for me actually beginning to speak in Hindi/Urdu in Public :o *shock-horror-gasp* What well most of it is me quoting from it, but I do insert my own variations from time to time. Maybe it's a sign of just being away from home so long. How we all learn to cope ;) And yes I know I have absolutely no right to complain considerign what I have, but still... (A) S'not a disease! :P (A)
Anyway unlike a dear friend of mine who shall-not-be-named-nor-called :p I will not be embarking on a deep dissection of poor VeerZaara and the rather odd depiction of ma dear La-Hore in the movie. Instead I will go into...

***SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT***

Yes, instead I have chosen to talk about those 48 extra brilliant minutes of ROTK!!! :D And of course I shall proceed to drag Hassan and Adeel onto this here blog so they may read what glory I do now swim in, at which point I shall learn one or the other has already got 'is grubby paws on it and snookums :( Anyway ok here it comes :D

The Scene with Saruman is heeeeeere! And yes he does get killed by Grima as he should've been! Ok so it's not the scouring of the Shire or anything, but still... and I do maintain that it's kinda unfair how he can shoot fireballs but Gandy can't :( :-X
Aragorn going to the dead, and their appearance out of the cliff. He then moves on to converse with the Corsairs sailing up the river, Gimli does a funny, and the dead rush out and smackeroo them. Very cool and adds some depth to the dead clean sweeping the battle of Pelennor.
Witch King facoff with Gandalf!!111oneoneoen!! I've sooo been waiting for this scene. And though they deviated a bit from the book by allowing The Nazgull to completely "Take-o-fy (sp)" Gandalf, that ust made the scene cooler. He almost kills Gandalf, and snaps his staff to shreds! Did anyone else notice that Gandalf doesn't have his staff throughout the later part of the movie? Fortunately Gandalf is saved by the bell, or in this case the horns of the approaching Rohirrim.
Aragorn chats with Sauron through the Palantir. Trying to be intimidating, flashing the funky Elendil at Sauron, Sauron shows him a dieing Arwyn, and his amulet falls and breaks to pieces. Kinda powdery. Serves Aragorn right for being so smug, but again, did anyone notice that he no longer has the star of elendil later in the movie?
And lastly ( well lastly of the additions I plan to mention anyway, there were a lot more).. it's the Mouth of Sauron!! YEs he comes, absolutely hideous, kinda Sleepy Hollowish to be honest, but it was all there. Him taunting the poor heroes with Frodos Mithril Shirt... oh and then Aragorn decapitates him.. yummy ;)

Well that's it for drooling, though to be honest I doubt this interests anyone else. I couldn't put it in my other journal because I'd be stoned for such an evil act over there, but I just had to show off.. can you EVER forgive me? (A)

Moving on to odd bits and pieces of news. Got an interview call from Inland Revenue, so booked 13.45 on the 5th of Jan. Wish me luck! Could get tricky coz I didn't give any references, but how am I supposed to get a reference in the middle of the vacation? Just hope they're understanding about that. It's a 20 min interview, so ah wella. Also just whizzed through the Unilever marketing application within 45 mins. Considering these apps are supposed to take over 2 hours, maybe over 3, I messed it up due to my usual policy of leave it to the end. Can't even remember what I scribbled, but that's what you get for starting work on an app 1 hour before the deadline :$

Start work at Kith and Kids from the 27th of Dec, with the last training day this Sunday. It's been interesting, I've been assigned to someone called Louis Baker, with my co-volunteer being someone named Liz who came at the alternate training day and then couldn't make it on Sunday. Still, should be interesting. And it was sorta cool since we all got interviewed and some 30+ volunteers got rejected and sent home. The guy sitting next to me squished me in such a massive hug when it was announced we were through, thought I'd choke, especially since we had barely exchanged some 10 words prior to this. Oh and I wonder what Louis will be like, no info given on his disability as yet. Oh it's pronounced loueee by the way, not Louis. :P

Hmm, should log onto msn now, meant to change my screen name to something vaugely resembling Just Lose it by eminem.. love that song (A) Finally thrust it onto my MP3 player. Oooh and Del got me that 4DVD thing of Band Aid for christmas. They came over on Monday, and I didn't get 'em anything :$ Feel so silly, but I Have been so terribly busy. Will make it up on the birthday coming up soon :D

Oh yeah, and some of those quotes I've been throwing around ;)

"There is no good or evil, there are only moral judgements"

"In a world without values and morality, good and evil are just choices on the menu of the mighty"

kinda conflicting (A)

"Three rules of work:

1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.

2. From discord, find harmony.

3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

"I have no special talents I am only passionately curious"

"I must find the truth that is true for me, that by which I may live or die"

*sigh* and there was this one on creativity that seems to currently be eluding myself.

Not like any of you shall mind! Ah well, tra la and have a wonderful life. Hitchiker Guide to the Galaxy movie coming out next year, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- Depp as Wonka in trailer looks ace, and Findign Neverland go go go for Oscars! :D

Dus Vidanya! O_o

Life's a laugh and Death's a joke

2004-12-06T12:01:00.000Z

Before moving onto what has been a fairly eventful weekend, what's the deal with tis bloggyness anyway? To post I have to open my blog, go to my profile, go to my dashboard, and then onto new post. I'm sure there must be some simpler way :p

Righty ho, onto the weekend, only because it was, and my current options are type in blog, finish essay, or print notes (I'll do the latter in just a few minutes anyhoo ::) ) Oh and did I mention I feel sick? Very very sick, poorly, ill, down, exhausted, generally all round not too good due to overexcessive deodorant inhalation :$

Friday the 3rd
Yes, it's true, the title does lack an ominous 1 before the 3, but given the day wasn't really all that tragic, I can live without the background music. We start at 6 30 in ze mourning, when I wake up to the sound of Tarzan swinging through the jungle yoddelling as he does (or crying/shouting/screaming hysterically). So out I doth roll, get dressed and run for the tube, all that kinda stuff, and waltz into class only 10 mins late. Lucky me ;) Of course I must proceed with doing the question on the board, which I had never been able to do. Fortunately no one else in the class could do it either, and we just had to try not to laugh as the poor teach went mad sayign how silly it is we don't know how to do what we learnt in the first year. Was eaasy when she showed us anyway, s'not our fault we forgot silly cournot-ness :p Moving along, go to my dear ol labby and finish my lloydsy app, as well as acing the inland revenue tests with my trio of test takin musketeers :D
(message to commenter, I actually happened TO be updating when your comment came, so NYAH! good ol msn (A) )
Right and .. where was I? Oh yes, Friday. Oooh it was the AU Barrel! Free booze all day long plus all the athletes in costumes. The school was a wreck and we had coppers on campus to keep things under control and make sure no students go running trying to trash some other campus ( Kings is a favourite ::) ) So we had "streakers" and fairies with their clothes a wreck and flyers and trash everywhere, geez it was mad. I avoided it all like a good lil boy doing essays and apps (A) Well, until the evening anyway :p Then it was off to watch The Life of Brian, mwaha :d And pizza hut, and ze schol disco with the remnants of the mornings nuts, those who could still stand and hadn't gone to the ultra expensive alternative off campus venue :P I'd love to go into more detail but time is mine enemy, and I can hope people actually don't have a cardiac arrest while running through this if I get a move on! {And yes everyone clapped and I danced.. or whatever it's calld when body limbs fly in all directions, the usual, lalala (A)}

Saturday, the 3rd + 1
This day, up again at 7 30. Just no fun that is, especially not on a Sat. But nooo, for WE had to partake in the LONDON AMAZING RACE 2004, run by the LSE. Which of course means it only had LSE students. Something my friend didn't tell me. So I turned up with a ringwraith costume. For I was confused. And the people laughed. And I shifted blame. And it was rather silly. C'est la vie.
So anyhooo, we ran, three of use with a supervisor. And ok it was kinda mission based and not so much running as going to famous places and solving riddles and questions based on the place. Like the opera house, and the best most famous dish in some famous bar (with and without mustard ::) ), ooh and what famous invention was inspired by the pagoda in the centre of China Town (A telephone booth apaprently), amongst many other things. Anyhoo was tons of fun, very tiring obviously, and we came second and won a box of Cadburys Heros for Best Team Spirit, whoopeee :P Must be the athletic landmark of my life ::)

Sunday, today - 1
Yes I'm rushing, but flashing windows of the microsoft greenman seriously cut down my typing speed over here. Soo Sunday was up AGAIN at 7 30, for I had to get the sequence of trains off to the north east from the north west! Yes this time it was Kith and Kids working with the disabled for christmas. Yay. Ah well I loved it anyway. We had workshops all day till 4 30, everyone was really nice ( on the surface, I sensed some baaad auras <_<),>

And yeah, now I gotta dash. See you all on the microsoft domain if I ever do, for a busy week doth be before me. Fortunately the last one of term though before I get a good month off, and needs to get christmas cards for all, and a present or two for some. Shers and bros bdays on wed and thurs respectively too, there goes my finances :'(

Take care, au revoir, sigh-o-nora n all!

The entry that makes scrolling impossible

2004-12-02T12:09:00.000Z

Courtesy of Snobby, however courteous a direct copy-paste can be (A)

Put the things that you've done in bold. AND put an extra thing that you've done at the bottom.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree (A)
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris Cursed be my fate!!! :(
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sunrise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath/shower
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day (several :P )
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theatre (Wanna!)
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to know about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (The good ol' days *sigh*)
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason :'(
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night-stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Moulin Rouge (Oh the shame!)
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
120. Been on a cruise ship (Wasn't cruising though :$)
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressperson
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did (A) :P
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds (I'm always losing moolah, doesn't say one go!)
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane (kinda)
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart (on'n'off)
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle (not driven)
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of 100mph or faster?
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery.
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: take, landing, during
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for his or her actions
175. Gone back to school (visiting (A))
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name (Ray from Re :P, amongst other things ::) )
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad (Half? )
181. Selected one "important" author whom you missed in school, and read him/ her
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions (All the none we've had ;) )
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair (Mascara? :P)
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Lost your Best Friend for reasons of death
201: Fallen in love over the internet
202: Sung in a Barbers' Shop Quartet
203: Eaten a live animal
204: Been able to communicate in a language you barely learnt barely three days earlier.

Holy crud I've had to fix all the formatting!
P.S. Graci to Gorpy for linkies
P.S.S So much wasted time, my teachers gonna moider meee! :'(
P.S.S Whoopee IBM don't want me..sniffy :'(

In the event of a fire, please roll over

2004-11-29T11:37:00.000Z

Yes! It is I! *Comes barging in and releases a host of fireworks in every direction before dieing out in the proverbial blaze of glory thingamajig*

Since last we conferred, sveral points of interest have emerged. Amongst those is the revelation fo certain hidden truths that make life that much more exciting, and cause me to break out into a lovely rendition of... It's a smaaaaal world aaaafter all (A) Of course since time is money, or well, an investment in human capital at the very least, I shall use it in the most efficient way possible in this entry only covering those things that are of immediate concern to you, my lovely fan base, 100% substitutable though it be :P

Point of order 1
The whole deal with linking blogs. It's ever so ufnair I can't get it to work. I mean, it doesn't LOOK incredibly complicated, and having to bounce from one blog to another using several intermediate channels is VERY embarassing for my .. bloggery ego!

Point of order 2
I have come to the realisation that by dropping my O-Level period dreams of being a doctor may in fact have been in the interest of the greater good for mankind. In a recent rather annoying emergence of a jean hole ( due to use and no other more unholy prospect), I set about trying to repair the damage myself. It started with some white string, a needle, and trying to get the silly string through the eye. At this point allow me to clarify I am much more for La than for So, which btw, doesn't even vaguely sound like sue... sorry sew! So with memories and skilles finely honed in many a phsycis lab practicals, I proceeded to tie a fine knot, and started working. Unfortunately, white string on black jeans, especially when sewing so that all the err.. whatchamightcallem, layers or whatever, come out on the surface side, meant I had to spend a good five minutes with a pair of scissors trying to undo the damage I had done. {Pair of scissors? It was just one.. scissor.. pair of trousers? Why? Anyone been able to solve the mysteries of anglais? :P} With the hole now bigger than it had been when I begun, I proceeded to use some grey string for my second attempt ( No we do NOT have black string at home, sue me :P ) ( All puns intended 8-) ). This seemed to be going rather delightfully. No visible stitches, and the hole was completely invisible within moments. Or minutes. I stood up proudly announcing to bro sat on his PS2 ( not literally, oh and I mean MY PS2), that I could indeed have been a surgeon. As I dramatically lifted said pair of jeans to show the repair work, I found that both the legs were kinda... stuck together :$ This called for emergency manouvers ( day I can spell that word right I get everyone a wadda ladoo ::) )... MOMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!! And a pair of scissors! :D
Very successful end result :P

Point of order 3
Friday: No ice skating, though we went to the rink. Lost our guts somewhere there. Ended up at Khans and Hagen (A) Saturday, my hot chocolate ruled a get together in Reading. So swish and swirly. Well I'd like to think it ruled :P

Coming soon
Job applications, finished essays ( They BETTER be coming soon!), a presentation, a christmassy party, a week of lectures, and far toomany assignments.

Viva la procratinationa! Rumba rumba 8)

Centrally Planned Economies

2004-11-23T07:05:00.000Z

"It's like a whore-house... on a Saturday night... on fire..."

Oh and a thousand apoligies, I DO believe I forgot to mention a few flavours of shiny cadbury on my last outing. Most notably wafer and umm.. that other nutty one.

Events of interest in the last few days:

Ate a BIG chocolate ball filled with whisky.. honest mistake, VERY bitter, made me cough like mad.. and unfortunately could not get me more drunk than I normally am :( {Point to note being that apparently chocolates with alcohol content are more likely to get you drunk than champagne ( or was it wine? ) in trifle or wine in chicken gravy :P }
Am absolutely tubular at online numerical analysis tests, our trio having successfully completed the third such test for a top ranked firm :D
The deadlines for most Investment Banks apps is 26th Nov... I'll be lucky if I apply to even two, so motivated I be!
Really really need a haircut now! Not that I mind the mop, but I'm all out of Sunsilk frizz-ease cream, can find no more ( in the one Boots outlet that I looked in ::) ), and anyway, I need pics for my long overdue NUS card and eep.. passeporte! Mustest go to Pagheee ya? (A)
I'm rather confused as to why I post here and not in my journal, since I have a much bigger audience there. But my general attraction to all things new must be all it is. I've probably dipped me fingers in most..dippable things, going for the radio, juggling, and choreographing at the LEAST before my uni life ends ;)
Really really want to play civII...
I also want to go horse-riding, rollerblading, ice skating ( later this week :D ), snowboarding, skiing ( most unlikely), rally-racing thingy, and try my hand at whatever other not so common thing presents itself. I have admitted the likelihood of mesa succeeding at mountaineering is rather low, and archery is more or less a definite future pursuit.
3 essays, 1 presentation, several apps.. forgive me if I continue to moan about this for a considerable period of time. Least I haven't mentioned my IO assignment on Game theory... ok hadn't.. (A)
Did I say I also want to go walk/stroll in incredibly scenic places such as may be seen in portions of "The Sound of Music"?
MOST definitely need a diary to sort out some sort of schedule! :$

And.. that's all. Well ok far from all. Oh yeah, LSE opened a REALLY posh new eating place.. which also happens to close at 3.. meaning I missed the eating time :P
And yeah.. hell with this, I'm gonna play FFX. Mwah!

Dus Vidanya... Anya!!!!
And fareweeeeeeeeeeeeeeell!

Being the tale of "Chocolate, Limejuice, Icecream.Toffeeyan"

2004-11-20T07:49:00.000Z

(A)
Could always get slightly more specific and declare it a tale of SHINY Cadburys wrappers though :D Just bough the whole collection, well almost, yesterday! And it's soo pretty! Not to mention scrumplicious, but we must stay focused on shiny wrapping for now!
Caramel, Crispy, Bubbly, Shortcake, Raisins, Fruit and Nut, Plain.. so many colours! Oops forgot mint! And so fun to swish around too ;)

Off to watch Dr.Strangeglove tonight.. well not technically off anywhere, they're showing it here... but umm still! And there's some 2 time oscar winner in production design coming as well... makes me wish I was a movie buff so I could actually appreciate this once in a lifetime oppurtunity ::) ;) Hey I DID give up going to meet Buffy in person... wonder if I ever told Adeel bout that (A)

Ok so you know what's annoying. I mean really annoying! Not that fake exaggerated annoying where I keep pretending absolutely irrelevant things annoy me a great deal. This.. this is SERIOUSLY, MAJORLY.. FRUSTRATING!... This is.. Vodafone voicemail.. you have new messages!!

The Story

So like you're sitting in your class ya. Trying to pay attention to funny Greek econ teacher and half wondering why you don't remember what a rectangular hyperbola is. And then the phone vibrates. goes Zzzzzz.. And you dig your hand in your pocket madly looking for the Red switch. unfortunately, someone decided that since you rejected the call, they'll just leave a message. How sweet <_<>
But *ahem* anyway, this person was thankfully ignored by the teacher, and I must admit it may have been somewhat amusing watchign me wriggle in my seat every minute because bloomin voicemail KEEPS calling you back! Again and again and again! In desperation I had to shut the phone off and put it under my seat ::) Can't keep it in my pocket, the slightest touch and it switches back on again... so dedicated to life my Sagem be.

Well it's 11 43 now, and I DO have a most fantabulous amount of time to waste. Probably go bug someone until 4 and then study a bit till the movie in the library. It's a GOOD plan.

Oh my GOD.. Just got the weirdest call :-/ Some girl called Lee from UCL who knew my name! And asked if I'm still supplying visa's for europe as her friend wants to go. What in tarnation... how did my number get THERE :S Unless it's that dumb sms.ac thing I just signed up for which looks real evil to me! peopel just kep mailing me about it but.. hmm..weird weird.

I wonder if I spelt Lee right ::)

Oh and major policy change in life. Shall be nice to everyone!
Yup (A)
Honestly (A)

Ok fine, but at least not evil no more. I can try! Just, we can't afford enemies, so I can be semi evil :D
Sorta thing. It sounds better in my head ;)

Adios people of the planet, I must now move on to wasting the next hour in some purely constructive way. Considering reading Going Postal, the new Pratchett book... mwahahaha! :D

I love egg! . com .. OODLE DOODLE!

The little things that count..

2004-11-18T16:01:00.000Z

A Tshirt from gogz.
Pair of socks from del.
Nother pair of socks from gail.
...

And that fancy camel skin lamp he got me is probably gathering dust :$ I attach memories to the oddest things ::)

WEll, in the way that when I see those thigns I'm immediatly reminded of the person that gave them...

There was also the "Italian chick magnet made of 13 euros of string" that reminded me of ali, but that tragically got sucked up by my vacuum... coincidence? (A)

Yay 1 hour till I depart for yet ANOTHER stimulating lecture, praise the Lord that I actually enjoy Game Theory...
Only, how DO I start a convo with the person sat next to me.That is of course if I want to.. possibly (A)
Networking at 6...somewhere.. miss first 30! Eepsters creepsters!

The Lynx Effect. Ahaaaaaaaaaa!

Take the quiz: "What'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=135">"What Disney Princess Are You?"

Belle
You love you family (what's left) dearly, and you're a bookworm. Get your head into the world darlin'

All of the possible quiz results for this quiz:
Snow White (You scored 0)
Ariel (You scored 0)
Belle (You scored 3)
Pocahontas (You scored 1)
Jasmine (You scored 0)
Sleeping Beauty (You scored 2)
Cinderella (You scored 0)

Groovy gravy! :D

What would you like on your toast?

2004-11-15T20:05:00.000Z

I'd like some Islam.. and I'll spread it with my sword.
ISOC meetings are so ... entertaining (A)

Well my daaaarlings, I'm back! I wonder if my poor audience has just given up and left me to rot by now :( That would of course make some amount of sense, but I shall peresevere anyhoo!

Ok first THE important business, >>> http://daemlich.net/2364 ... TURN YOUR SPEAKERS ON!!!
And this font is horrible, I'm going to have to flick it.
*flick*
*flick*
Better :D .. So much more.. essay like :p

Right then started at 12 05.. will finish God knows when, though the rambling that is bound to take place will test all sorts of bits and bobs in your body.. possibly your bladder if you've been drinking.. nowty :P

If we generally rewind to the time immediatly following my previous post, I will remind everyone there are sporadic updates made in my livejournal.. you only need to ask for access, love it as you do!
Decision formulation: I want to do a Masters in International Relations in a couple of years. And a job in advertising till then looks fun! I mean, BSc in econ, job in advertising, MSC in IR.. the world shall be MINE! Though the job app is a bit.. naff. Right about the relaunch of tap water? what does that even mean? The world ran out of water? Or the relaunch of tap water as a consumable water source.. screw Evian.. and nestle :p

Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama?

I've got my status set to busy, but instead of focusing on my apps, today just happens to be the deadline for several, I have instead chosen to.. come here.. and post! Is it strange to be totally loving uni in your last year? :$ I love all four of my subjects in the way that they're all interesting at the very least, and I'm not absolutely miserable at them.. a state I'd grown rather used to in my previous year :$ And after what I DO declare the most miserable year of my life, I'm actually "socialising" to some extent, and at any rate, having enough fun to keep my spirits soaring even though I'm working enough to drown.. most of the time anyway :P Work to drown.. groovy!
It'll all be over soon though, I did so love being a student, but now here comes the real world, and I'm so not ready!
In slightly jolly-er news, I finally found charity work for christmas time :D It's from the 27th - 31st, and I'll be helping people with certain handicaps.. can't wait :D Applied to be a school governor as well, which should be truly interesting. Helping schools make decisions.. delusions of grandeur coming true (A)
I have this odd feeling I may end up working in Standard Chartered, though I applied there for "Risk" and I'm not even entirely sure about what that is :$
Rowing is hard, and I've not bene in a while now! I seriously wonder if I'm going to continue with it, or take up some other support. They teach juggling.. seems.. more... erm.. fun?
Loool, just got and ad for Lipton Cha ::)
Scan-scan-scan
Oh yeah, we had a cool all LSE iftar on Friday. Had about half a dozen non muslims fasting, and a speech session, and other stuff. Oh and the girl I'd always though was french told me she was Austrian.. Sound of music (A)
No not like that <_<>
Three egypitans ahead of us.. they kept twisting in their seats... spicy chicken. And they announced eid, much to the dismay of the people who said that scientifically, the moon couldnt BE seen in Britannia on Friday ::) They were right too, but what the hey ;)
Finding Neverland is fabulous though! Scottish Depp, and coo-eeee, well I loved it :D Though it's a total sniffiniser, so don't watch unless you're in the mood for that kinda sop.
Fines mounting at the library! Just don't get time to go <_<>

Introspection
What? Right right. So where do I begin? I don't even see why I need to do this. I mean all you people are blog novices so get a kick out of doing it all the time! I've been writing for almost a year now. I'm out of stuff to introspecticise! All my introspective abilities await miles of empty applications anyway. Why do you have EDGE and ENTHUSIASM. What makes you exceptional.. blargh.
It's not a competition.. breathe breathe.
And then the rivers ran with blood, and blood said.. give it to me baby :-/

I'm tired.. this entry's gone horribly wrong :'(
I'm so inept! oh waily waily waily!
I blame it all on tension! That thing I've never taken ;)

You're all cordially invited to the madness at www.livejournal.com though! (A)
And don't forget..

llama llama duck!
Got to help a friend with her application now... I'm so much better at helping then doing my own!
WILD MOUSE!!

Oh and eid mubarak the lot of ya.. yaaargh! I'm rich(A).. rich-er anyway ;)

Love ya! XxXxX.. *hic*

Time: 2 past 1 ;)

Test Subject Heading

2004-10-21T14:44:00.000+01:00

Can anyone actually SEE that subject heading? I can't seem to :(

Anyway, onwards to the source purpose and altogether reason for this here... type-fest ::)

Don't have a lecture till 5pm.. again.. so am wasting time rather then studying
I hope that something else that be useful shall pop up
I could be studying truly but for that I'd need, amongst other things a book, which I plan to go purchase after babbling for a bit!
This number thingy is so lame!

Right then, ooh so I just came from this session on how to build a CV. It appears the only thing I lack is being on some student committee... and erm.. outstanding academic performances ::) Blah!

I have a presentation on power and politics next week, should anything hideously horrible happen, I shall blame my advisor over the issue of taking Internation relations, but then again, it DOES admittedly be quite fun!

Had this way freakish nightmare where all of London got nuked! It was so weird. First the missile hit and I was like oh phew no nuke. And then there was this way awesome mushroom cloud, and a giant explosion of dust and concrete came hurtling in all directions, like an ocean wave! No one died though.. the next scene was in a hospital. And when I walked out all of the city lay in ruins. Only, a few moments later the entire scene repeated from the missile hit onwards. This time it didn't hurt. I just saw the whole thing happening around us, and the hit felt like a breeze. It turned out that we were all dead, and the actual death sequence would continue to repeat for a looong while until the transition over to true death. So I scrambled around wrecked playgrounds and dried river beds as a nuke hit again and again.. way freaky...

Got applications for all sorts of hoo-haa running in all directions these days. I'm sickly afraid that mayhaps my emails arent being sent properly. Will find out for sure by Tuesday, at which time I can start panicking because a lot of important stuff won't have reached people! Curses to my fate, but it all happens for the end-all good ja ;) Though since some of the things were EASY money, can't say I won't be a wil bit dissapointed! I also plan to put several of them on my CV anyway.. if it turns out they didn't work, blah I'll bluff my way through any interview I get ya :$

Oh and what unfairness of the world doth this be! So many firms say we'll accept any discipline as long as you did well.. I sorely protest the picking of silly geography students for econ and finance jobs just cause they managed to do better on that.. which they of course would, like duh.. D'oh!

My blog is currently undergoing drastic stylistic changes. IF people would be so kind as to click on the name Jo, in the tagboard on the right, and see her blog, and then say whether that would be better then my current one. I find it extremely... "lush"? But the three fairy pixie girls kinda threw me off. It's better in all other respects fer sure :D Oh and I do love the tagboard, me wants both taggy and Comments, mwahaha!

3pm now. At 4 I shouldst go shopping, sign up for the marketing society.. and ooh I want to join some really FUN thing. I was considering rock climbing. But the thing is I'm doing rowing on Saturdays, Sundays I NEED for apps and work, so that only really leaves late nights ( when there's not really any cool outdoor activity) or Wednesday afternoons. Yes, I have Fri and Tue afternoons off too, but nothing fun ever happens theeeen.

I suppose I could do some sort of volunteer work, but I'd much rather just be doing it for fun then the good ol let's do our bit for the world routine. And I can't deal with commitments. Such a shame that be, truly. Maybe I'll really try to start that Reading Club thing, who knows, it might take off 8-)

Oooh there's a frisbee club. How... odd. Should mail and find out what it's about. Or karate. Or rollerblading. Rock climbing sounds a bit.. rough. Anyhoo, I'll be erm.. signing off now. Take care all of yooz. Catch you next week.. or sooner.. or later. and good luck in all your personal pursuits.

Byeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

*scribbly sig*

F42QG0J

2004-10-15T22:39:00.000+01:00

Tis the serial number of my computer, the on I currently use in this here computer lab.
And this here be my second of possibly many posts on err.. blogspot. I must admit I do find its ability to host multiple names as well as a separate address kind of cool, though stylistically it leaves a lot to be desired.
Is the entire purpose of this endea..endae..endeavour I'm sure... err.. or a suitable substitute, to make long extremely complex entries?
I've scanned through several blogs now in my undying efforts to waste what time I have, what with nothing better to do, a pack of sweets by my side, and iftar hours away...
Everyone writes here in such a ..wordishly obssessed manner! Then again, I suppose if it is truly to be a release of "yoru inner most thoughts and feelings", people probably think in terms of proper words, rather then.. i have to do that thingy at 2ish but I'm feel all flibberidy about doing it :$ :$ dammit!
Yeah, that's sort of how I think, filling in thingy with the required subject when I can be bothered to retrieve it from memory.
ng and ou.. I always mix those too letters about in words ::) Must be a set typing fault.. ___ing labs and straight keyboards!!!
Course I'm not straight.. only straightish.. like say, spaghetti?
Journals, diaries, .. Err.. Blogs, always get the prettiest side of us ya. After all, who would bother to come online and type stuff out when they're happy and giddy and generally enjoying life. It's either when you're feeling contemplative, philosophical.. or psychotic.. depressed.. depression is a big motivator, though at times just being online with nothing more appealing to look forward to then that next job application ( that will inevitably be rejected) or the assignment due oh ever so soon.. yeah, being online is sad.. and what better place to dish it out then here. Then of course, you tell your friends to read it, thereby spared the effort of individually explaining to each and every one of them what a terrible mess your life really is.
I'm sure something here MUST allow you to make sub categories of friends too, but hell forbid that I ever go looking around in complex toolbar arenas!
So now.. half an hour till some friends get out of their classes and I can either go "have fun" or more likely, see what to do about this MOST annoying female trying to run for pak soc president, or alternatively look seriously into my job and carrer fair apps for barclays and CRedit..suisse? :S However it's spelt.. oh yeah, a dedicated future employee I yam indeed!
Oh I had this rather odd dream! All them old people, and some of the more decent new ones.. and no studies... somewhere... I'm sure Zaks old house featured vaguely prominently.. vague prominence..mwahaha :D
I might just end up having to copy this into livejournal, at least I have a set audience over there.. I wonder who actually reads stuff over here. Is there an easy way to sift through the blogs of people you'd like to see, other then adding them all to your favourites ::)
Hmm.. I guess the displayed time is US .. will try to remember to change that.. it's the effort that counts!
Ooooh I've like totally almost finished FFX :D It was such a superly fun game... and, well I'll only update here as life goes on I guess. Unlike gogz, the ability to recap an entire week is not to be found here.. I'm sure I'd skip all the bits of significance anyway..

By the way, coming soon, a stylised review of Arranged Marriage Vs.. or possibly teamed up with.. it's err.. counterpart.. the lovey thing!

Well I have been looking for new topics to randomly rave about, and religion.. well not in Ramzan! And Death... nobody seems to like that...Education, life in general.. all done. Months ago.. though I'm sure some opinions continue to evolve and run havoc.. havok.. in my mind? Whatevery!

Probably going to watch The Phantom of the Opera soon, once the money from my job as a Student Ambassador starts coming in.. I'll just not describe the job coz it sounds ever so posh this way (A)

Anyway, 20 mins left now! And I'll possibly go randomly splare a message board. I do hate them, but since formal classes with assignments dont start till next week, they shall serve for erm.. today really, as a good time utiliser!

Rowing tomorrow! Oh and I'm getting better at it! I'm SURE I wouldnt get stuck in green gucky stuff ( algae.. you know.. just to prove I DO know about green gucky things (A) ) if I were to try in Hyde Park again!
I'd complain about how cold it is but I'm sure there's worse out there.

Anyhoo.. take care all my many many many readers... and I'm lucky if there's an individual for each many, where many can be a group of consumers, each being an.. individual :-/

^_^

XxX

The essence of time is vanilla!

2004-10-11T09:51:00.000+01:00

It's amazing!!!

I just HAVE to end up as bloody rayinzar.. is everythign else even vaguely original taken!!! And WHAT was my address anyway?!?!

Anyhoo I'm bored, 10 mins to an international relations lecture, and have tons to do.. which is why I've decided to do this instead...

I like Dell keyboards... they're got soft keys... mmmmmm SQUISHY :D

Oh and I still think livejournal is spazzier so nyah! :P