Trying to be someone you're not and not trying to be who you are

Man does not have the power to craft his own destiny, but he does have the power to fulfill it.
And the evil amongst us makes heroes of those that are.

Forgive him for he knows not what he does

...and there's only so long I can keep believing there's some greater depth to all this.

Asi Supmante Wah BOOM!

Pah! Policy Shift, high gear reverse SCREEEECH!

Bah. Ok Contemplative, thoughtful, intense sagely stare of infinite wisdom has been turned into that most hideous of plagues of me being interested in the girl where my general stare direction lay! Phaw. Curses. Maybe if I try a reverse flirty persona I might be able to get out of it ^_^ Or end up deeper in trouble. :-D
In any case, the insanity is catching. The changes, the turbulence, the bubbling of undercurrents threatening to pull me under and shoot me through a whales spout.

We played an interesting dare-related card game tomorrow anyway. No. I mean yesterday. Mine wasn't so bad. Zany and Mike had to crawl through the whole Brunch Bowl! *cackle*

Ow my arm. WHY am I still home? And why did I have a chicken burger for breakfast? :-/

Hush little baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna buy you a Mockingbird
If that mockingbird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring
...

Isn't it ironic?

Irony. Wonderful. Gripping. And absolutely out of my grasp. But we live those little moments and when your entire life is an ironic little tale of twisted half-truths and deceived relationships, understanding the application of a word is only secondary, tertiary, irrelevant. Live it.

A person isn't who they are in their last conversation with you, it's who they've been throughout the relationship.
I'd say it's a shame how many of those last conversations become last conversations, but then I'm just not really into dwelling on the smaes and shams of life today.

Two Assessment Centres coming up, Ford and Shell. And a review of the Oil industry kept me from class. Gain or loss, who knows.

You're living a lie kept buzzing around my head till late last night. While conceivably a repercussion of its appearance in my Smallville fiesta, I found it disconcerting nonetheless. Perhaps I'm finally at the stage where I try a new personality. To be honest (a rarity to be sure in all matters pertaining to the self) I have grown tired of the flow of things and the charms and rewards of this particular mode of living. And a rather extreme self analysis revealed that I'll never be able to reach even half of my potential given my current structure. Depends upon who you look to for inspiration. I always keep my core anyway, and a new periphery might be a welcome change. Cold, cruel, distant, snake-eyed. Aloof. Maybe not so much cruel as I would like to be shelled in and out. Though I've always been distant, most of all from myself. But if I can't be the hero, might as well try my hand at the other side of the coin.

Entering info has become slow here. Strangers stare. Glorious.
*snap*
...and we transform, humble as ever.

Cliffnotes Version

How could you do it? How could you lie to your family and friends, those you love and hate. How could you lie to your mother your brother your critics your fans? How could you lie to the world and not bat an eyelid, yet most of all, how could you lie to yourself?
It's easy when you know how.

What's the difference between a decision made and a decision taken? And where does there lie more guilt and more burden? And is to know truly to understand? And then is to understand truly to believe? What twisted circles there be are circles only for the sake of continuity, and nought else.

A dull ache in the left arm. The crushing feeling of missing a lecture because of Smallville. The depressing realisation of normality. The inevitable resignation to destiny, to fate.

And this is not the promised dedication, but a short step away. And what character of the world would you most relate to? A wasted weekend and lost Scrabble. But our essence is not in out words but there where it is invisible. And we say the queue grows ever long, and to our duties do we now drag ourselves. The Brunch Bowl la cucuracha!

Shake yoru head, rattle rattle rattle! Such selfishness is a glorious demise ^_^

Wherein the Title Exceeds the Content of the Entry...

Sherry's back!
Uni Sux!

What's in a name? As a subject, I'm variable

The gender gaffe
SIR – As an intelligent, professional woman, I find the outcry against Harvard's president, Larry Summers, despicable (“Harvard's disgrace”, March 19th). Women are quick to say that men are pigs, unfaithful and can't ask for directions when driving; they take glee in findings that prove men are more prone to mental retardation, infant mortality and adolescent immaturity and are quick to crow about women's higher pain-thresholds and greater ability to multi-task (as if this proves that women are the stronger sex). But when Mr Summers merely hints that women may be less accomplished in some areas, he is automatically branded a sexist. The same people who protest against his comments are poorly-disguised fascists and, like the women's lib bra-burners of the sixties, have become facsimiles of the men they profess to despise.
Amanda Vermeulen
Johannesburg

Yay, the last word on feminism that I completely don't get as a concept but respect as an ideological expression!
Ok so not the last word, but it does stand up as a highly relevant specimen of curiosity inversion by an angle so acute it's obtuse. I'm not a maths major, how dare you! phaw!

No and we don't, sit watching episodes of Charmed all day, of demons and witches where does the fascination lie? In rhyming spells and balls of fire, vanquishing all in the name of truth, justice and the American way! K maybe not the last, *sulk*
In all reality, we spend much time worrying of the future, exams that must come, and other such anomalies that disturb us be not the better to write than say, and be not ehard so much as felt. Touch my aura, prick your finger, sleep and wait for thine prince. I'd cackle but then I'd need a tictac :-(

I like long flowing dresses. Said with a feeling of regret as the summer comes and the dresses fall apart to reveal, overpriced pieces of cloth. I wonder how large the discount on the bridal dress worn by Diana in HumTum was (A)
Ooh ooh, Hitchikers guide to the galaxy movie out soon, tragic that it's rated 15. Have I had this conversation before? Who am I talking to?! But now sis can't go see it. Tragic, as mentioned before, only this time there's more emphasis. Tragedy!
Also, Sin City, yay! I must re-assert my worries about the exams now. Really I do worry. Even now I've got windows open with Stiglitz ctiriques. Print away, dance puppets dance! I shall soon write a post dedicated to all my wonderful friendz. I shall also soon write one on vanity, for I owe it so, and just as conceivably shall I arrange for my round-the-world cruise. All withing a paltry budget of what a swing dance in the coco bongo will get you!

And now, in the name of lost memories, and charity-ransacked cartoon videos;

Hey Big Guy, you are my kind of Hero
Hey Big Guy, you are my Numbah One!
Hey Big Guy, I love the way you do the things you do!
Hey Big Guy, You Are My Number WUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
<3>

Four and Twenty Blackbirds

We are at a , wossname, impasse.
Our ability to communicate has faltered.
The fire alarms ring, and drive what thoughts could creep in, out.
This is not poetry, it's frustration.
Moments of blank despair, where when the reflection falls the image is bare.
Ha!
We fight invisible ghosts, and praise invisible hands.
We are split, united, tied, entwined, divine.
So childish, so lost.
Speak, dammit, say your piece and be done with it.
Nothing really matters, a song, a line, a fact.
We are, now, entranced by our own inability to entrance.
For a moment of blockade, vanity was suggested.
We are not blocked, not empty but congested.
Speak not of work, not jobs nor exams, but speak not of them and there is nought to speak of.
Why?
How are you?
Don't ask, if there is nothing more to say.
Keep thy head above the water, it shall all pass.
Of what use are we, when there is no audience.
Of what good are we, when there is no cause.
Of what... phaw.
I know why we blog.
From the shadows before I'm stifled I can tell you.
Because we need to get out.
Tear the flesh and be one with the void.
He lies.
It's not that, it's for our sanity.
Yes, Precioussssssssssssss.
We are no better.
We are mortal.
We are, what we are, but of that there are others.
So harsh, ah, so harsh, so true.
Oysters, pearls, grains of sand.
Macabre thoughts and blood on walls.
Token genius, be our fall.
There is no aim, no dream for us.
A trodden path we see always.
Run away, and it's been done.
We are an individuality.
We are unique.
And we have, for thy envy, no more remorse.
Fear, yes.
Pity, perhaps.
But the end, the glorious end, we want it not.
For we live in hope.
There is something there, that when we meet.
Shall fill the grave with no body beneath.
Till then, help them smile.
Cheese, say, flash, print.
It hurts us.
I want...

Oh buggerit buggerit buggerit.
Give the world an enema.
Relish, mallevolence.
Ah-Ha-ha
How long can we balance the scales, hmmmmmmmmm.
Say it, judge me, and be your own undoing.

Ooh Heaven's a Place on Earth

Kash used to say,don't start a story from the beginning. Start from the middle, a shock moment, and wind out from there. As a technique, it worked wonderfully. But in some ways fairy tales remained superior. How can you beat that classic start anyway? And so, one day the tale that will be...

Once upon a time there was man. He was lord of the skies and the seas. Every land he conquered, he pillaged. And the Earth threw up all her bounty, for her beloved to consume with insaitable greed. And he gnawed her very bones, removing every last scrap before sucking out the marrow. And the lands that were once a part of them, were now pictures of their downfall. Until one day the sound rang out, shattering the very fabric of their existence. And they were no more. The End.

Ahh, perhaps a little dramatic, but an end nonetheless. All religions do believe in the existence of some sort of end. A heaven, or a Nirvana. Eternal joy, eternal happiness. It's worrying where your thoughts might escape too in those restless moments of hours-long shut-eye but no sleep. What's the promise? No pain, no fear, no sadness. Question. How do you measure happiness without something to measure it up against. What do you do when the chance of failing leaves. What envy there can be of those in a better place must eventually leave. After all, eternity is an awfully long time. And with nothing to accomplish how long can the life of the idle rich please?

Well yes, anything is better than the torment of hell-fire. But while that is rife with elaborate details of how unbearable it shall be, Heaven is a place of endless bliss with rivers of milk and wonders unimaginable. I dunno, this be no time for a conclusion, but what might be a sketchy one at best leaves a couple of options. Either the human psyche will need to be tweaked or have a missing sprocket replaced. Or we've not been told something. Personally I prefer the latter.

Then again, I'd prefer not being woken up at 1 30 after having slept just an hour ago with a splitting headache, only to spend the next 2 hours awake and then dreaming of demons and telekinesis. ^_^

Ooh heaven is a place on earth, phaw!
*Makes like a banana and splits*`Wheeeeeeeee (A)